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Fictionsuit Products, Inc.

 
  

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The Return Of Rothkoid
04:10 / 11.10.02
The Return Of Rothkoid
The Return Of Rothkoid is like a normal parachute, but it's only visible under ultraviolet light.

Stick your suit in the box here and share what you really are.
 
 
the Fool
04:55 / 11.10.02
the Fool

the Fool is a shoe-shiner that displays a slideshow of pictures! It tastes delicious and gets +2 to kill undead.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
05:15 / 11.10.02
Chairman Maominstoat-

chairman maominstoat is a cricket bat that makes popcorn! It works in the rain and follows a target of your choice.
 
 
The Monkey
06:29 / 11.10.02
The Monkey is like a normal football, but it can bring down an elephant.
 
 
Nietzsch E. Coyote
06:31 / 11.10.02
Fenris23 is a samurai sword that's great for hammering in nails and is water-resistant.
 
 
Nietzsch E. Coyote
06:33 / 11.10.02
Sorry Figured how to work it.
fenris23 is a crematorium that repairs itself!
 
 
Nietzsch E. Coyote
06:35 / 11.10.02
I'm going to use this for divination! odin is a rocket launcher that runs on six little wheels! It is powered by clockwork.

How astute!
 
 
Ariadne
06:44 / 11.10.02
Ariadne

Ariadne is a postage stamp that has been blessed by a priest! It has a built-in calculator and displays pornography.

It does? I do?
 
 
that
06:53 / 11.10.02
cholister is a sock that can be controlled remotely! It has a retro 70s design
 
 
Ariadne
07:14 / 11.10.02
In real life, I'm much more useful:

I am a rocket launcher that tells you when people are lying. I have been designed by Terence Conran and can pick locks.
 
 
RadJose
07:20 / 11.10.02
radjose is like a normal wrapping paper, but it fetches sticks.
 
 
Tezcatlipoca
07:25 / 11.10.02
Tezcatlipoca
Tezcatlipoca is a pogo stick that makes popcorn and is water-resistant.
 
 
illmatic
07:29 / 11.10.02
"Illmatic is a refrigerator that dispenses pills and is designed by Terence Conran."

Told ya I wuz classy.
 
 
Shortfatdyke
08:04 / 11.10.02
shortfatdyke

"shortfatdyke is a skateboard that has a built-in motion sensor, can be bolted onto a towel and is programmed against harming humans."

Yeah! Auntie Skater strikes again!
 
 
Rev. Orr
08:24 / 11.10.02
Orr

Orr is a knife that checks your spelling! It flies like a rocket.

For a spherical chain-smoker who borders on the dyslexic this isn't the most impressive insight. I'm going back to my magic 8-ball.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
08:26 / 11.10.02
In real life, I'm "a spanner that emits thick black smoke! It pushes things down staircases."

Cool! Usually just bags of bastards but, y'know, I can do requests.
 
 
doglikesparky
08:57 / 11.10.02
doglikesparky


doglikesparky is a small cluster of first aid training manuals also capable high tech infiltration.
 
 
Trijhaos
10:17 / 11.10.02
Trijhaos

Trijhaos is a fork that's great for hammering in nails! It can speak French and is fully recycleable.
 
 
yawn - thing's buddy
10:17 / 11.10.02
yawn is a wireless network device that's made of rubber!

oh, the best yet - yay!
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
10:23 / 11.10.02
Bizunth is a CD-rom! It slices vegetables!

Annoyingly accurate.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
11:30 / 11.10.02
My Misheard Lada of the Flowers is like a normal walking stick, but it can extinguish fires.
 
 
Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!
11:39 / 11.10.02
Suedehead is an ironing board that can light cigarettes! It squirts water and has a retro 70s design.
 
 
Mazarine
11:39 / 11.10.02
Mazarine is a credit card that expands at the touch of a button, induces lucid dreaming and is monogrammed (up to three letters).

Well gosh.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
12:06 / 11.10.02
And this one's scary:

Apparently my dog is "an alcoholic drink that will drive you insane!"

Strangely appropriate, yet scary. (Not least for the dog.)
 
 
wembley can change in 28 days
12:20 / 11.10.02
wembley is a headband that can be programmed to perform simple tasks, is powered by a single hamster and is made entirely of wood.

why am i not satisfied? why am i NEVER satisfied?!?
 
 
Mr Quick
12:35 / 11.10.02
Mr Quick is a pair of shoes that runs on a single AA battery!

Brilliant - a pair of super-trainers.
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
12:38 / 11.10.02
Flux = Rad is a business card that doesn't take no for an answer!

Alternately, Flux = is a games console that keeps food fresh for up to eight weeks! It is ideal for the kitchen.
 
 
Ethan Hawke
12:38 / 11.10.02
Dover Thrift Edition Todd is a cigarette lighter that slices vegetables!

However, I like this one better:

Todd is an eraser that cannot be removed from your house!

It makes me sound like Arnold Shwarzenegger.
 
 
tom-karika nukes it from orbit
12:48 / 11.10.02
The Karika is exceptionally tasty cake, now with added currants
 
 
Smoothly
12:54 / 11.10.02
Smoothly is a strain of bacteria that traps small animals, runs on compressed air and may have harmful side effects.

Now we're talking.
 
 
Cavatina
13:13 / 11.10.02
'Cavatina is a blow-up doll that weighs less than a packet of cigarettes! It is solar powered and sends and receives text messages.'

Full of hot air, eh.
 
 
The Apple-Picker
13:16 / 11.10.02
The Apple-Picker is a postage stamp that's audible only to dogs! It runs on tapwater.

This is disappointing. Aren't all postage stamps audible only to dogs?
 
 
The Apple-Picker
13:17 / 11.10.02
Whoa! My real name is so much cooler!

"J is a fizzy drink that sorts your mail, can disable electrical hardware and hovers three feet from the ground."
 
 
rizla mission
13:56 / 11.10.02
Rizla is a hammer that sticks to the ceiling like a gecko! It sticks to the ceiling like a gecko and sends and receives faxes.

Sweet.

Apart from the Faxes bit, which I could do without frankly.
 
 
grant
13:56 / 11.10.02
There are times I suspect my better half takes this as absolute truth:

grant is a credit card that recites haiku!
 
  

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