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Oh dear. : A thread about things that tick you off quite a bit, and might even elicit a frown.

 
  

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Notes from Boris-town
23:11 / 23.10.07
No, but dear God, look at you now! Catholicism would have been too good for you.
 
 
Our Lady Drinks Your Milkshake
23:11 / 23.10.07
I read 'River out of Eden' and I still think Dawkins is a cock.
 
 
Our Lady Drinks Your Milkshake
23:12 / 23.10.07
Damn you Nolte...
 
 
Stoatie. Stoatie? STOATIE.
(prev. Stoatie's power level is >9000)
01:39 / 24.10.07
Given that /b/ is the home of racists, misogynists and just downright amoral bastards everywhere, 4chan being down (due to a DoS attack by lulznet) shouldn't bother me, but...

they invented LOLcats. They invented the Rickroll. I'm addicted to those fucks.

4chan is down, and it feels like the internet's ass is not working properly.
 
 
Dazzler
03:20 / 24.10.07
I feel good that 4chan is gone, and you should too.

Being in University makes it impossible to not associate with people who use "want/do not want/fail/win/oh lord is that some/ohgodwhyaren'tidead etc." All the fucking time.

Do Not WANT
 
 
Stoatie. Stoatie? STOATIE.
(prev. Stoatie's power level is >9000)
16:09 / 24.10.07
It appears to be back. The good news for everyone is that once more most of the trolls on the entire internet are concentrated in one place.
 
 
electric monk
05:40 / 25.10.07
stupid brane not work.
want to write thoughtful post.
plenty insight.
but made of fail.
d'oh.
 
 
Notes from Boris-town
15:02 / 25.10.07
Men with jackhammers have been camped outside our office block since last summer. Supposedly they're fixing the water mains. They're doing a fine job driving me slowly but inexorably nuts.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
18:46 / 25.10.07
Dear Frank,

When you took out the offer the webpage you used gave you the information. When you rang up I answered all of your questions and explained the answers in simple detail. Why then did you need to email the department to ask more questions? Dear Frank why are you a fucking moron?

Love,

Tryph
 
 
Stoatie. Stoatie? STOATIE.
(prev. Stoatie's power level is >9000)
03:06 / 28.10.07
IT'S FUCKING SATURDAY NIGHT AND I WANT SOME DINNER!

And I got paid yesterday. But I just went to the shop to get some money out so I could go and buy some chips, and suddenly FORGOT EVERYTHING. Of course, being a bit drunk, I kept trying. And now my card's been "reported lost or stolen". I am such an absolute cock.

FUCKFUCKFUCK. I'm nearly out of gas, (the not-being-arsed to have paid for more this afternoon was kind of why I was planning on having chips) so not sure if I actually HAVE any food I can make edible...

...I had big plans for a karaoke piss-up tomorrow, which I have seriously argued people into coming to...

Ah well. I bought several days' worth of dog food today, so Sheena's fine. And I can afford a small pack of tobacco and some skins, so I don't ACTUALLY have to go on the rampage (which is just as well, cos I can't afford ammo).

The most annoying thing is I got paid yesterday. This is supposed to be my weekend with cash before I go back to work.

Actually, scratch that. The MOST annoying thing is I've just remembered my PIN.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
 
 
Notes from Boris-town
03:15 / 28.10.07
Huh. At the very least you might have saved yourself some moolah. Going broke over the weekend and all...
 
 
Stoatie. Stoatie? STOATIE.
(prev. Stoatie's power level is >9000)
03:22 / 28.10.07
Problem is, when I go to the bank on Monday... I don't have a passport OR driving license (my passport- well, long story, and my driving license I haven't seen in about ten years, even though I'm still legally entitled to hold one). I'm probably going to have to wait for them to send me another card. Which could take a fortnight. And I have 78p on the gas meter.

Oh, I'm sure I'll find someone tomorrow who can lend me some cash. But right now not only do I feel like the stupidest man in the world, I feel like the stupidest man in the world WHO'S ALSO GOT THE TASTE OF CHIPS IN HIS MOUTH THROUGH ANTICIPATION. Chips he will not have. Chips he only vaguely wanted in the first place, but which now have become THE MOST DESIRABLE FOOD IN THE WORLD.

For an absolute fuckwit.
 
 
Tsuga
03:40 / 28.10.07
(which is just as well, cos I can't afford ammo).
You guys need

Can we change that to "kill better"?

Seriously, can you write a check or cheque or something? At least cheque on it?
 
 
DRR... DRR... DRR...
(prev. Mordant)
03:41 / 28.10.07
Can someone give Stoatie a tenner? I totally would but I'm all in Spain and that.
 
 
Stoatie. Stoatie? STOATIE.
(prev. Stoatie's power level is >9000)
03:53 / 28.10.07
can you write a check or cheque or something

Nah... my credit rating's REALLY bad, and I only have a savings account. (Well, I'm not sure my credit rating's STILL that bad, but having just a savings accounts has been quite handy because it means I can't actually get overdrawn. At all. Ever. I dunno, it seemed sensible at the time).

Can someone give Stoatie a tenner? I totally would but I'm all in Spain and that

Oh, I'll be fine. Someone'll be able to lend me cash to tide me over. I'm not gonna starve to death or anything. (Even the bank stuff I'll probably be able to sort through a simple process of me being utterly embarrassed and promising not to do it again. I've got plenty of bills and shit. I just have to find them). I just feel REALLY, REALLY stupid. And I kind of wanted those chips. Of course, I bet had I had them I'd have thought they were rubbish. That's the thing about food. It's always the stuff you can't have that tastes better. ESPECIALLY when you're drunk. (Apart from anything else, I am very familiar with that particular chippy, and I KNOW they're rubbish. Try convincing my tongue's imagination of that right now, though!)
 
 
Our Lady Drinks Your Milkshake
00:39 / 31.10.07
Professor Anthony Clare has died suddenly at the age of 64, proving yet again that the arseholes aren't dying out as quickly as the good guys.
 
 
The Natural Way
11:01 / 31.10.07
It's normally pretty easy to get money over the counter if you can remember both yr sort code and account number and a couple of other pieces of personal info, Stoatie. Helps if yr bank has a copy of yr signature too. Memorise those bastards and next time it probably won't sting quite so much.
 
 
Quantum of Solace
11:19 / 31.10.07
Stoats, the same thing happened to me last week. Except I wasn't drunk, so double embarrassing. I had to borrow cash just after getting paid and order a new card and all that because the number i *thought* was my PIN (I was so fucking convinced, I thought the machine was faulty or something) was in fact XXYZ not XYYZ which I repeatedly typed in until the machine ate my card.
At least you were drunk.
 
 
Mist combats dehydration
(prev. Alles Mist!)
12:01 / 31.10.07
Canīt you just write the number down in a note or address book? I do it like that:
Under phone numbers, thereīll be a Denise with the number 355 54 3556 and the last four numbers are my card number. If anyone will ever get your book, how would they know, that one of the phone numbers is fake, so this is a safe way of carrying your number with you.
 
 
Blake Head
12:36 / 31.10.07
My pumpkin soup exploded in my bag! Orange gunk all over my stuff. Slightly strangely, my phone went from off to flashing that it was fully charged (so I can only assume it was running on pure soup) before flickering on and off in front of me. I just... I just watched my phone die. It was quite moving actually.
 
 
Janean Patience
16:44 / 31.10.07
Did you make it any promises as its life faded away? "I'll care for your charger as if it were my own son," that kind of thing?
 
 
Stoatie. Stoatie? STOATIE.
(prev. Stoatie's power level is >9000)
17:00 / 31.10.07
Oh, forgot the inevitable punchline.

Having run around like a headless chicken on Sunday borrowing cash from hither and yon to do all the things I really should have done on Friday, I went to the bank on Monday, only to find that my card HADN'T been frozen at all. The bloody machine at the off-license had been lying.

I fail at money.
 
 
Stoatie. Stoatie? STOATIE.
(prev. Stoatie's power level is >9000)
17:01 / 31.10.07
I just... I just watched my phone die. It was quite moving actually.

That is so 2001: A Space Odyssey.
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
17:37 / 31.10.07
Does that make it so early this century?

Or so last century's idea of early this century?
 
 
Blake Head
22:14 / 31.10.07
Looks my contact list was saved on the now fallen phone, rather than the sim card. Have I written my numbers up in an address book like a sensible chap? Nooooo.

I'm still hopeful of a miraulous return to unlife where my phone returns to duty with new soup-infused Halloween powers, and fights crime and stuff, but the flickering white light of probable death says "unlikely" really.

Quite glad that I cunningly ordered Series 1 of The Wire in time to arrive this morning, as it gives me an excuse to retire early in front of some barbelith-tested entertainment product, as otherwise I'd be quite a bit more fucked off really.
 
 
Tell me yr a pingle meece?
20:06 / 01.11.07
A couple of hours ago I made a lovely T-shirt with some fabric paint pens that came through the post. But now it's drying the white paint seems to be going all transparent.

Waaah. Surely that's PVC glue, not paint.
 
 
Janean Patience
10:52 / 02.11.07
Series one of the Wire will make you distrust phones, sure enough, but series three is the one to make you realise how disposable mobile phones are.
 
 
Evil Scientist
11:12 / 02.11.07
It's very simple. The swimming pool has half of it devoted to lanes where people such as myself can do lengths. The rest is open.

So why, in the name of all that is real, do people insist on standing at one end or another of the lanes in twos and threes chatting? I don't want to have to invade people's personal space just to exercise properly for Zod's sake. Just go and float in the open half and leave the lanes to those who are using them for their intended purpose.

I swear, it's a fracking conspiracy to wind me up.
 
 
Dazzler
13:25 / 02.11.07
Hahah, this term most of my flat mates have taken up thrice weekly swims, and that is ALL we ever talk about now.
 
 
the andromeda mouse
14:42 / 02.11.07
Blake, sometimes you can rescue a phone such as that by dialysing it in water. Sounds like your chances are slim in this case, but if you want to give it a go, remove as much of the casing as you can (wash seperately) take out the battery and SIM and put the rest of the phone in a large pot of slightly warm water. Leave to sit for a few hours, occasionally swirling gently. Pour off water and repeat at least once, maybe more depending on the thickness of the soup (I'm starting to feel this should go in the gastronomicon thread).

Then leave the phone somewhere warm for another couple of days to dry thorougly. Once dry reassemble (with battery but without sim) and switch it on. If it seems to start up ok and requests the SIM, put it in and see if it's working again.

I make no promises.
 
 
Haloquin
14:46 / 02.11.07
At least you have dedicated length-lanes... our pool has 4 lanes (2 too narrow to really swim breast-stroke in) and they are all left free-for all. 2 groups of over 5 students each... both decided that the end of the pool just isn't good enough... and so took up 2/3rds of the middle of the pool! I wasn't even the only person swimming lengths either. Add that to the people you mentioned who sit along the ends of the pool (and strangely refuse to move even a little when you are trying to reach the end)... *sigh*

I feel your pain.

On the plus side... thats only during the free-student sessions... if I want to pay I can swim with the grown-ups... and we all do lengths! (Apart from the guy who does widths... but he times them to avoid crashing into others so thats nice).
 
 
electric monk
14:50 / 02.11.07
Flip turns, folks. Flip turns.
 
 
All Acting Regiment
14:52 / 02.11.07
As for me, I'm fine sharing lanes as long as the other swimmers were born a) with the same number of limbs, give or take for accidents and so on and b) no mandibles/antennae. I did not return to (yes) Bannatyne's after that free trial offer.
 
 
Blake Head
12:27 / 03.11.07
Thanks for the phone remedy recipe mice!

I shall experiment.
 
 
the andromeda mouse
16:16 / 03.11.07
Best wishes. It'll probably go a bit better if you have access to distilled water, but if not tap should hopefully do the trick.
 
  

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