| | | So.
Someone at the Watchmen Movie Forum posted an assessment of the so-called "Orci/Kurtzman draft"; in hir words, "something that shows definitively what said script changed/left out, etc". It must be pretty reliable information - it's certainly being treated/discussed as such at the board, and their mods seem to be the people who would know.
I myself didn't read it, but in the interests of providing temptation for those who want it, I'm pasting the whole thing below.
[+] [-] Spoiler WATCHMEN in 138 pages.
So what was cut out, and what was kept in, and what was changed?
There's no opening scene with the newsvendor and Kovacs with the sign. Rorschach's opening journal entry has been moved (more on that later). As the script opens, Edward Blake is watching The McLaughlin group in his penthouse. Pat Buchanan, Eleanor Clift, and McLaughlin give their take on world events. We learn about escalating tensions between the US and Russia, about the situation in Afghanistan, and we learn about Dr. Manhattan, and about just how different the world is than our own. Then Blake gets killed by an intruder. You all know what happens there. The pin gets caught in the drain (or gutter).
Next comes the sequence we've all heard so much about, the montage of how the world changed when heroes began to operate. I suspect that many of the smaller, simpler elements that were removed or unseen later in the draft will be seen here.
Detectives Fine and Bourquin were gone in the Tse draft. They're back, but for some reason, Bourquin is still called Gallagher (I will call him Bourquin in my head, as his name is never spoken out loud. Go figure). The scene is shortened and streamlined, but retains it's significance for the most part. There are no flashback "puns" to The Comedian's death sequence.
That night, Rorschach is heard reading his journal which we were so afraid we wouldn't hear, complete with "Dead dog carcass, whores and politicans", and blood in the gutters. You know, the entry Tse and Hayter didn't include in their drafts. A few elements of it are cut out, but it still feels pretty classic and complete. Rorschach comes upon The Comedian's pin. As in prior drafts, he grapples up. There's no hanger investigation, there's a secret compartment, and there's a picture of the new heroes along with the Minutemen in Blake's closet. Rorschach encounters a cop guarding the penthouse as he leaves, and attacks him, as in prior drafts. That's the major change to the material. But there's no speech about being turned on, Rorschach just strikes him in the throat.
Dan Dreiberg's visits with Hollis Mason. This sequence, while not being uber faithful (No Screaming Skull story) is still a fantastically realized scene, incorporating material from Mason's book, and some new lines that really throw what happened with the new heroes into sharper focus, elaborating on how the older heroes feel about it. It also has an added element that hints at how everyone feels about Rorschach. I will admit, Tse's script handled this scene better, but the later draft does set up Dan's character better than Tse's did. It's more personal, played less about the era of heroes, and more about Dan's wasted and unfulfilling life.
Rorschach visits Dan. This scene basically plays out as it does in the novel. All the requisite classic lines and moments are here. The writers add a few lines of dialogue to the scene that make Dan's conflict more layered, and his relationship with Rorschach more of a failed friendship than simply being former partners. No sugar cubes moment (Boo!). It was about the time I saw that Orci and Kurtzman took Tse's "Maybe someone's killing off costumed heroes" to "Maybe's someone's picking off costumed heroes" that I saw what they were doing. Changing the dialogue back, to me more faithful, and less blatant in it's explanations. Hopefully Snyder will add the sugar cubes back in. Major changes? Dan does say "The Watchmen are over", and the "Those were great times" line becomes "We used to respect each other", which...layers their conflict. How, you ask? You'll see.
We get more Rorschach then, but no abbatoir full of retarded children. Sorry guys. No Happy Harry's bar scene. It's missed, but made up for later on. But surprise! Most of the good lines in it are put into the conversation Rorschach has with Dan in the earlier scene, and put into context there as well. What we do get is "Soon there will be war..." and all it's trappings.
Instead of Rorschach visiting Veidt, Dan does. As in earlier drafts, this is done to highlight Dan's relationship with Veidt, and to flesh out the idea that the heroes were a fraternity, and some of them even close friends. As in prior drafts, Doug Roth is in Veidt's office, and so is Annie Leibowitz, and the scene serves to flesh out just how successful and capable and concerned about mankind Veidt is, using some of the material from the novel, and some of the material from the chapter-end interview with Veidt in later chapters (Much better written than the Tse draft) He also reveals that he and Jon are working on something to prevent war. Veidt reasons that the impending war is over resources, so he is working on a new kind of cheap energy with Dr. Manhattan. Same basic idea as the Veidt/Rorschach scene was, but with more emotion to it, and far more relevance to the events of the story. Essentially, this scene raises the stakes of the impending nuclear conflict, which the prior TV program only began to show.
Rorschach tells us, via his journal, what happened to all the heroes, and then he visits Dr. Manhattan and Laurie. The reactor Dr. Manhattan is working on is now significant, not just a random search for supersymmetrical theory. There's an interesting twist here on Laurie not wanting to be called what Rorschach calls her. Now she abhors the name "Silk Spectre", not "Miss Jupiter". It's handled well (except no sugar cubes! Boo!). Other than that, this scene plays out as you'd expect, and as in the novel. with the reveals about Blake trying to rape Sally, Rorschach's feelings on that, his accusations, etc. When Rorschach "leaves", Dr. Manhattan is trying to get Laurie to see how time works on more than one level, because he is having trouble with his "vision". He helps her flashback to when she was little. The snowglobe/fighting Sally/ sequence. She doesn't want to go there. There's a rift forming between them, and has been for a long time.
No "Rorschach walking the streets" scene, since the dialogue from the journal was used in the prior scene with Dan.
Dan and Laurie meet for dinner. This sequence contain almost every classic exchange, and some new dialogue that fleshes out the fact that Laurie was forced into crimefighting and that now she is being watched by the military and kept around to make Jon happy. This is part of her arc in the movie, moving beyond this conflict. It's not just mentioned, it's seen. She's actually being watched, and growing restless and frustrated with her situation. Roberto Orci and Kurtzman don't write with the same flair as Moore, but they understand these characters quite well, and the dialogue sounds real and flows well. Everything they add is relevant to the story and these characters. The "Captain Carnage" bit is intact.
The Comedian's funeral is interspersed with Laurie's visit to her mother. This is the first time we see Walter Kovacs and his sign. Much of the scene between Laurie and Sally is shortened or gone, but the relevant bits and thematic pieces are there. There is a flashback to when The Comedian tried to rape Silk Spectre.
At the funeral, Orci and Kurtzman have added the priest's words back into the script and story. The order of the funeral flashbacks are altered a bit. Jon's flashback to The Comedian's time in Vietnam is first. We see Jon and The Comedian killing enemy soldiers, there's an appropriate transition to fireworks, and then it plays out as you'd expect, with Blake gunning down the pregnant woman and his observation about Jon drifting out of touch.
Dan's is next, with him having a bit more action along with The Comedian. The riot sequence is realized well. Minor alterations to dialogue, but the same feel persists.
Adrian's flashback is last. Captain Metropolis is gone. Now, Dan is hosting the meeting of "The Watchmen" (Not The Crimebusters). Everything else plays out like you'd expect, but the writers add more to The Comedian's point. Now it goes beyond nukes flying, and as in Tse's script, The Comedian talks about how mankind is able to destroy itself now, and how it's all just a matter of time. Pieces of Dan noticing a young Laurie and her only having eyes for Jon once he arrives are added.When the funeral is over, Dan, Adrian and Manhattan talk briefly. Adrian mentions postponing his and Jon's announcement about their work until it's perfected. No one sees Moloch place roses on the Comedian's grave.
Rorschach confronts Moloch at his home. Minor changes here. The first and second visits to Moloch are now combined into one. Rorschach now slams Moloch into the refrigerator instead of hiding inside it, with the "Look behind you" Rorschach note. We are treated to Rorschach listing some of Moloch's crimes now, fleshing out his time as a real-world terrorist/supervillain. Moloch's flashback with The Comedian is intact, but shortened a bit, streamlined to the essence of the Comedian cracking because he's discovered something terrible. He doesn't reveal the plan's elements, and it works. It should still be very powerful. Laetril is still present. Moloch still has cancer. In an added bit of plot, Rorschach notices a payroll envelope from Pyramid Industries while snooping and finding the medication.
The "cheap glass" and "coke bottles" sequence is gone. Which makes no sense because you can see it in the trailer, so Snyder probably added it back in at some point. Rorschach visits Blake's grave to pay his respects. We do not see him break in. His musings on the nature of mankind and what's happening in the world are streamlined, but there, and the "Pagliacci" moment is intact, complete with flashback's to Blake's attack and death, "Roll on snare drum", and "curtains".
No newsstand. No vendor, no kid reading the pirate comic. No Tales of The Black Freighter. No Kovacs asking for his paper. But they built the set, and filmed the scenes with the Freighter, so...here's hoping this stuff makes the film...and that even more if it makes the Director's Cut.
Laurie and Dr. Manhattan try to make love. Three Dr. Manhattans is intact. Actually...there are FOUR! Hilarity and high emotions ensue. One major change. This time, when Laurie finds the “real” Jon, he is working on his project with Veidt and talking about teleporting a reactor to him, not just a beaker (but the beaker is there). She also has a great, great line. When Laurie storms out, Jon stops working and looks at a photo of Janey Slater. No lesbian cab driver.
No scene where Janey Slater talks to Dough Roth.
Meanwhile, Laurie goes to Dan’s. Truncated version of her gripe session in the novel, with the same basic meanings (and no sugar cubes, damn it!). She talks about losing the Secret Service in the subway in order to see him. Puns and parallel scenes and Jon dressing and “shadows in the mist” are still there. Dan and Laurie leave to see Hollis Mason.
And then time, which is multi-faceted, shows us a stenciled radioactive Fallout Shelter sign on a door, and we're at the news stand, where a kid is reading Tales of the Black Freighter, and the Newsvendor is arguing with Walter Kovacs about his paper not arriving. A Pyramid Deliveries truck arrives, and SEYMOUR tosses out a stack of New Frontiersmans. We don't see the headline.
Dan and Laurie, walking to Mason's, get mugged. This is intercut with Dr. Manhattan's interview, complete with puns and transitions. Jon's interview, which is with Ted Koppel, and the interview has been agreed to by Richard Nixon for strategic purposes. There is a panel consisting of Richard Weiss, Janet Lee, and Doug Roth. The discussion is far more relevant and interesting than the novel's, about the impending war, Manhattan's role in it, etc. Janey Slater is there to accuse Jon, which causes him to lose it and teleport everyone in the studio to a rooftop, not a parking lot.
Dr. Manhattan doesn’t go to Arizona to get the photograph. He just goes straight to Mars. He doesn’t say he is to anyone, either. He is discovered there. There are some minor sequences added where the government agents assigned to be his handlers are freaking out, interrogating Laurie, etc. Laurie essentially kicks the crap out of Forbes and escapes her handlers, marking a turning point for her as a character.
Dr. Manhattan’s time on Mars has been shortened, in terms of dialogue and the
events that we see, but we see still see and hear quite a bit: him meeting Janey Slater, falling in love with Janey, the accident that led to his creation. We see his struggle to form (With Wally now involved in it) and his birth. We see his introduction to the world and some of his history, fighting with Janey, meeting Laurie, etc. The main difference is that he begins building the clockwork palace as he reminisces, and this is tied into the “putting things back together” theme that is found in the novel, not after he is done. Some of the better, longer passages have been omitted, but most of the truly relevant ones remain intact. The stuff about his father is there, and there are references to Einstein as well.
Agent Forbes and other agents debrief Laurie, trying to find Dr. Manhattan. Finally they locate his energy signature on Mars. Laurie asks for a smoke, and as she does, flashes back to her meeting with The Comedian after the Crimebusters/Watchmen meeting.
No scene with Dan and Rorschach bringing him the paper. No scene with the Bernies and "inna final analysis".
Dr. Manhattan’s time alone on Mars has been shortened, in terms of dialogue and the events that we see, but we see him meeting Janey Slater, falling in love with Janey, the accident that led to his creation. We see his struggle to put himself together again (With Wally now involved in the scenes) and his birth. We see his introduction to the world and some of his history, fighting with Janey, meeting Laurie, etc. The main difference, apart from the streamlined string of flashbacks, is that he begins building the clockwork palace as he reminisces, which works pretty well, and this is tied into the “putting things back together” theme that is found in the novel. A few of the better, longer introspective passages have been omitted, but most of the truly relevant ones remain intact. The stuff about his father is there, and there are references to Einstein as well.
Nixon and Kissinger hang out in the War Room to talk strategy and deal with impending nuclear attack. There are some pretty good lines here.
No scene where the man kills his family. No scene with newsvendor and the kid reading the comic.
Laurie, tired of being used to draw Jon back, essentially kicks the crap out of Forbes and escapes her handlers, marking a turning point for her as a character.
At his building, Veidt holds a meeting where he tries to sell the head of several major automobile companies (Including Lee Iacocca) on his new brand of energy, a meeting that shows that he is someone who could lead the world, given his vast resources. It is here that we learn about his reverence for Alexander and the Gordian Knot solution, and Veidt’s history. Adrian Veid is attacked, as in the graphic novel. Gone is the “death was comforting to the Egyptians” element, which is missed. The rest of it is fantastic.
Dan and Laurie discuss what happened to Veidt. Dan's clearly getting interested in what's going on. He offers to let Laurie stay with him, given current events. As they leave, Rorschach is watching them in the diner. He doesn't return to his apartment or confront his landlady.
No newsvendor/kid with comic book scene here. Note: I suspect there will be in a Director's Cut. Otherwise, why would the Veidt attack scene be moved after the Dan/Laurie diner scene? Because the scene after the Veidt attack scene in the novel is a Black Freighter scene, as is the scene before it.
Rorschach investigates Roy Chess's apartment, finds a Pyramid Industries check, and a matchbook for Happy Harry's.
No scene with Dan wanting Laurie and going to bed without any. No newsvendor/lesbian/poster scene. No Raw Shark scene (Boo!).
Rorschach goes back to Moloch’s. His second visit is removed, and in the movie, this is when Rorschach finds Moloch dead. The police sequence plays out much as it does in the novel, complete with the relevant dialogue and Rorschach’s “resourcefulness”. As in earlier drafts, Rorschach disables several officers before going down. Fine and Bourquin (Gallagher) are present here.
Rorschach goes to jail, where he is taunted. He then meets with Malcom Long, goes over the ink blot tests, sees the dog, says "butterfly", "nice flowers", sees his mother the whore, and the time he attacked two other children who were mocking and spitting on him. We do not see the origin of his “face”, or hear the story of Kitty Genovese. He talks about his history with the other heroes. When Long presses him, Rorschach tells Long about the murder of the little girl. This scene is faithfully realized for the most part. He does not set the house on fire, at least in the script. Instead, he subjects the man to the same basic fate as the girl, killing him with the cleaver. This is the source of the blood on his coat, and the “tremor of impact” line (Probably done to avoid problems with PETA). Rorschach’s monologue at the end of this sequence has been truncated to something a bit more basic, which gets the point across, but doesn’t feature the same poetry. This is greatly missed, but it still works. "God does not" is still intact. The scene ends with Long telling the guards he cannot help Rorschach. Long’s home life is not seen. After leaving Long, Rorschach is accosted, and injures the prison inmate.
Laurie hangs out in Dan's workshop. Dan finds Laurie in the basement when she sets fire to the Owlship. This scene is shortened. You learn the basics of where Dan and his methods came from, but not all the details the novel features.
Later, after eating, and not watching a Veidt charity special or the news, Laurie tries to get him to make love to her, and he can’t get it up. They go to sleep.
At the prison, Big Figure confronts Rorchach to tell him about his impending death.
Dan has a nightmare, where, instead of the Twilight Lady, he sees Laurie. This plays out as in the novel. Waking, he heads down to the basement, where Laurie finds him
in conflict.
They go out in the Owlship and rescue fire victims, Laurie actually going inside the building. They make love.
No Sally/Hollis phone conversation scene.
No scene with the Bernies and Malcom Long.
There is no planning scene for Dan and Laurie.
At the prison, Big Figure and his goons come for Rorschach, who does his thing.
Steve Fine doesn't come to talk to Dan, which means the sugar cubes being omitted no longer is a story weakness (though they are still missed). Thank goodness.
Dan and Laurie decide to rescue Rorschach.
No Jack-O-Lantern carving with Hollis Mason.
Rorschach disposes of sewage with a toilet. At this point, Dan and Laurie descend into the prison, and begin kicking ass. Rorschach finds Long and demands to know where his "face" is. Long is terrified. Dan and Laurie find Rorschach hunting down Big Figure. Rorschach disposes of more sewage with a toilet. Dan, Laurie and Rorschach escape via the roof as rioters close in. In a change to the story, Dr. Manhattan appears walking across the clouds, and enters the Owlship. This is where he tells Laurie they will talk on Mars, and they vanish. Dan and Rorschach leave the prison as police helicopters arrive.
Laurie and Jon materialize on Mars, and Laurie can't breathe.
An unnamed gang of Knot-Tops finds out about Rorschach’s escape, and decides to murder Hollis Mason. They do so. The flashbacks to his time as Nite Owl are intact. The scene is what you'd expect.
Dan and Rorschach are laying low underwater. They make up.
Dr. Manhattan and Laurie hold their conversation on Mars. This scene is shortened, but still effective. There is no topographical lesson, but the clockwork palace does rise and travel over the surface of Mars as the scene takes place.
Rorschach and Dan head to Happy Harry's for answers. Dan finds out about Mason's death and goes nuts.
Nixon goes to Defcon One.
Dan and Rorschach break into Veidt's office, into his computer, and find out he might be behind everything.
At Karnak, Adrian Veidt hosts a group of scientists and engineers. He kills them with champagne and buries them in snow when he opens his biodome.
Rorschach and Dan do not go back to Rorschach’s apartment, but Rorschach does drop his journal off. For some reason, the "catch a bullet line" is added to Rorschach's journal, possibly to make Veidt seem more dangerous.
Back on Mars, Laurie cannot convince Jon to save the world. She realizes The Comedian is her father, and then he confirms it to her. The palace shatters, etc. The “thermodynamic miracles” monologue is intact, but has been streamlined a bit here and there. It’s still very effective. The Argyre Planitia is still a Have a Nice Day face.
In Antarctica, the Owlship ices up, and crash lands. There are no hoverbikes, but Dan does have his Snow Owl suit. In Karnak, Veidt watches a wall of monitors with Bubastis. He sees Dan and Rorschach approaching, and slices the Gordian Knot (Yay!). Dan and Rorschach reach Karnak and break in, confront Veidt, who is eating a vegetarian meal. The scene plays out as you'd expect. Veidt's explanation of his plot, as you'd also expect, is streamlined quite a bit. The "greatest practical joke in human history" element is intact. Veidt's observation about Blake's realization of what was happening is not (Boo!). Now Veidt says "I triggered it thirty minutes ago" instead of "I did it".
The method of destruction is a blue energy, generated from Karnak, that "infects the clouds". Blue lightning then spreads out across the globe. We see Russians and Afghan soldiers stop fighting, and we see the Bernies talking at the newstand. And then we're in Times Square, and the wind rises, and savage lightning strikes begin, their energy expanding like liquid fire, flooding through the streets, and blowing everything in it's path to ash. We do see what is described as a world montage of destruction. We see the Bernies and their demise.
Jon and Laurie materialize in New York. Dr. Manhattan figures out it was Adrian who did this. He and Laurie teleport to Karnak. The rest plays out as you'd expect, except that Dan, realizing Rorschach's error, tries to stop his friend, and sees him blown apart, as we do, by Dr. Manhattan. Dan can't take what's happened when Manhattan leaves, snaps, attacks Adrian, the fight ensues, Owl Rang, etc. Adrian dies. Ths is the worst part of the script. Not because of the event, because of the pacing of it all. It happens too quickly, there's no buildup, etc. I suspect it has been changed, and most rumors point to that being the case.
Sally visits Laurie, they make up, and find Dan coming home from "work".
And then we come back to Seymour.
And it would be a stronger world, a stronger loving world, to die in.
I'll let you make your own assessments. If you've read the Tse and Hayter drafts, you have a basic idea of the structure. Want to know if something's there or adapted, just ask. |
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