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Underground > Film, TV & Theatre >

Wicker Man Remake

  
  

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Reality Is Psychosomatic
19:42 / 09.05.02
http://www.tvguide.com/movies/flickchick/

$4 Million dollar remake with Nicholas Cage in the starring role.

Is there any way this can be good?
 
 
Elijah, Freelance Rabbi
19:48 / 09.05.02
no
 
 
Ganesh
20:02 / 09.05.02
No.
 
 
Reality Is Psychosomatic
20:02 / 09.05.02
What if it were directed by Christopher Nolan, starred Al Pacino, Robin Williams, and Hillary Swank, and titled 'Insomnia' ?
 
 
Ganesh
20:25 / 09.05.02
No.
 
 
Reality Is Psychosomatic
20:52 / 09.05.02
What if Nicholas Cage played the role of Heather Graham in a remake of 'From Hell' directed by Tim Burton? Inspector Abberline would be played by Ashton Kutcher and would be a 'funny pothead' instead of a policeman. He would also have a crime-solving dog that could do dead-on impressions of virtually any celebrity, giving the movie limitless cameo potential.
 
 
Reality Is Psychosomatic
20:53 / 09.05.02
Title: Rut-Ro, Where's My Ripper?
 
 
Ganesh
20:58 / 09.05.02
Ro.
 
 
Reality Is Psychosomatic
21:16 / 09.05.02
Hypothetically - Nicholas Cage as the voice of Tyrone Slothrop in an all-CGI version of Gravity's Rainbow.
 
 
Margin Walker
07:18 / 10.05.02
Man, only 4 million bucks? How the hell do they plan on pulling this off with only 4 million for a shooting budget? With any luck, they won't have enough money to finish it.

And I'd also like to add that I don't like Neil LaBute.
 
 
Mazarine
07:27 / 10.05.02
Are we sure this Wicker Man isn't the touching story of Neil, a man whose love for patio furnature was exceeded only by the compassion in his soul?


I really wish I were drunk right now.
 
 
Mazarine
07:28 / 10.05.02
Just for the record, the name Neil in the above post was chosen at random, and has nothing to do with Neil LaBute.
 
 
The Natural Way
10:45 / 10.05.02
Naegh.
 
 
Ellis says:
11:35 / 10.05.02
I like Neil LaBute.

But this remake will be crap, i mean how are they going to improve on the original? By hvaing an entire Wicker Family?
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
12:43 / 10.05.02
They're remaking The Italian Job too. It's strange how Nic Cage seems to have become shorthand in the film fan community for 'this is a really bad idea and will never work'.
 
 
rizla mission
15:14 / 10.05.02
Hopefully this ill be like the Get Carter remake in that absolutely NO ONE will see it and EVERYONE will laugh at it and it will quietly disappear.
 
 
Ganesh
19:03 / 11.05.02
The one good thing about this film: I have always loathed Nicholas Cage with an intensity which is occasionally difficult to justify; I'll soon have ample justification for my hatred...
 
 
PatrickMM
20:03 / 31.05.05
Here's the teaser poster for the film. I completely missed when this went from rumored to actually in production, but apparently it's happening. The teaser poster looks like a pretty generic horror movie, I'm really surprised they didn't use the actual image of the wicker man.
 
 
lonely as a cloud...
10:32 / 01.06.05
Oh, lord, no. Not Nicholas Cage. I absolutely loathe him. Apart from in Adaptation. He's obviously playing Edward Woodward's part (Sergeant Howie) - which I think will be horrible, as he tends to over-play the pathos card in these situations - but any word on who's taking on Christopher Lee's wonderful Lord Summerisle? Or Britt Eckland's part? Or even who's doing the music, which was quite central to the original IMHO?
 
 
Psych Safeling
13:41 / 01.06.05
I was talking about the Wicker Man just this morning, only my friend accidentally referred to it as the Wicker Chair (seminal horror film).

"OOOOOH, STOP, no, don't sit... AARGH!"
 
 
Loomis
13:50 / 01.06.05
"Starring Nicolas Cage" is the new "written by George Lucas".
 
 
sleazenation
14:05 / 01.06.05
Or the new 'starring Keanu Reeves'...
 
 
Who Invited Grumpy-Pants?
15:14 / 01.06.05
Nicholas Cage is a Schrodinger's Actor. Only by witnessing his films can you see if he's released a poisonous performance or not.
 
 
Liger Null
16:06 / 01.06.05
Spoiler
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


I would say something along the lines of at least Cage gets burned at the end, but Hollywood'll likely send some deus ex machina to save his sorry ass.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
16:12 / 01.06.05
Well according to the article in this month's ( I think ) Uncut magazine, the Nicholas Cage character won't be a virgin in this ( Cage being too studly to convince as anything other than a sexual dynamo apparently, ) so... They're effectively going to be making a completely different movie, it seems.
 
 
Loomis
08:59 / 02.06.05
Or the new 'starring Keanu Reeves'...

But Keanu is far more likeable. He's like Pinnochio; Sure he's wooden, but he still manages to be cute. And he sure as shit doesn't get given any oscars. Cage is such a smug fucking irritating ham. He could be the head teacher in the hamming department of Gary Oldman's School of Ham.
 
 
lonely as a cloud...
11:04 / 02.06.05
Not a virgin...? That kinda messes things up. A lot. Next they'll be putting clothes on the landlord's daughter and making her sing Britney Spears or summat...
 
 
Krug
10:42 / 06.06.05
NO.

What next?

Clockwork Orange being remade/adapted by the Wachowskis with Keanu Reeves as Alex?

Shit I hope nobody heard that.
 
 
Ganesh
13:41 / 06.06.05
Presumably Christianity must prevail too.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
13:52 / 06.06.05
Hell yeah !
 
 
astrojax69
07:20 / 14.06.05
could be worse, could be sly stallone! [that'd be 'wkkrmrnn' then...]

and with nicole kidperson in the britt ekland part...
 
 
lonely as a cloud...
10:30 / 14.06.05
...and maybe they could use Kate Winslet's body double from Titanic for the dance scene...? Mmmmm...boobies...
 
 
cusm
06:01 / 20.06.05
All singing, all dancing, murderous pagans! Could it be too much for Mr. Cage?

Oh, I can't wait to hear the whine of "you exploited my beautiful oppressed culture of earth feminism" when this one comes around again.
 
 
cusm
06:03 / 20.06.05
But does it actually count as exploitation if the cinema is so intolerably bad as to be unwatchable? I suppose this question will be answered soon enough...
 
 
Decadent Daytripper in Love
22:56 / 21.06.05
Certainly, I feel more exploited after sitting through a crap film, whether it's got rampant nudity, blood, and absurd plot developments gears solely towards advancing more and more nudity and/or gore.
 
  

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