|1 2 3 4!|
J Edgar Hoover is wearing a dress,
he tried to make dinner but just made a mess,
Alone in the office, Henry Rollins on TV, his records cost money - oh why is nothing free?
Aggression, thinks Hoover, gets old pretty quick
No wonder everyone thinks I'm a dick!
That was the moment he decided to die,
he didn't write a note and he sure didn't cry,
just opened the window and learned how to fly..
But that's not the truth, I hear you all mutter,
Who is this 'poet', some punk from the gutter?
Oh no, my friends, it's much worse than that,
I can see you through the eyes of your black and white cat,
I can Led like a Zepplin and sing like a bee,
'twas I who put Rollins on that TV!
'twas I who told Buddy to get on that plane!
'twas I who put monsters in Nixons brain!
'twas I who sold smack to old Mr. Iggy!
'twas I who kneecapped Will Smith (stopped the bugger gettin' jiggy!)
'twas I who fell foul of the law in Peru,
for importing records by the So Solid Crew
'twas I who they put in the stocks for eight days,
hoping it would fix my ungodly ways.
I tell you, my son, Peru's gonna get some shit,
it's inhabitants are heading straight for the pit!
I'll send 'em plagues of eels and hornets and rats,
jellyfish, howler monkeys, hobbits with hats!
I'll kick all their teeth in and burn all their crops,
I'll make sure the temperature drops and drops and drops!
I don't know where I'm going with this to be honest, so I think I'll just stop.