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Underground > Film, TV & Theatre >

The Apprentice Season 4

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00:50 / 02.05.08

My feeling about Lee is that he's often wrecked. He's been increasingly red in the face, and his emotional outbursts have become more and more 'honest'.

He's perhaps been in a job where it wasn't all right to fire up the dragon within at lunchtime anyway, but now, the leash is off.

It's hard to criticise him for this, though.

That aside, I nearly died laughing about Alan 'shitty computers that don't really work, that will be landfill in two years' Sugar's approach to teh environment. He seemed very angry about the Green issue, and with just cause.

It can't be said often enough (though I'm sometimes seduced by his silver fox, pin-striped, multi-millionareness) but I'll say it again:

Alan Sugar is a sick beast who needs to be put down, and any government what endorses the tirade of shit that this barely-licensed idiot routinely pours out deserves to burn in hell with him.

It's quite a boring thing to say, but that's never stopped Alan.

Every single thing about Alan Sugar (and what buster decided he'd be a Knight of the Empire, or whatever) makes me feel so sad.

05:33 / 02.05.08

'If some hooddie murdered my daughter, I'd by a card' and so on.

11:18 / 08.05.08

This entire series seems somewhat farcical. The wannabes seem to be caricatures of the modern business world: self congratulatory, buzzword touting idiots. Whether it’s spending 2 hours arguing over an apostrophe or shouting at some poor Muslim butcher to praise Allah over a ‘kosher’ chicken, these individuals seem to be providing, or being cleverly edited to provide, weight to the rather insidious argument that education standards are slipping. Especially, apparently, to the white old wolf Margret “Edinburgh’s not what it used to be” Mountford.

Still, that was probably the most entertaining episode so far this series. Also, despite the fact I want to hate him, I think Raef is growing on me; his congratulation of Lee’s management was pretty atypical. If it were ex-contestant Kevin for example I expect we’d hear a lot more “Aren’t you glad I won that task for you, guys?”. Whether Raef can keep up his team player persona when the brown stuff hits the fan I am yet to judge.

Whisky Priestess

11:52 / 08.05.08

Well, I thought that was a cracking episode, albeit that the "oh no I can't look, I can't look, LOOK AT THAT" factor was very high, especially in the awful, flabberghasting scenes of Michael and Jenny trying to Kosherise live chickens - it was more like voodoo than anything at that stage.

I thought that Lee, although bouncing off the walls like Tigger on crack, seemed to actually know what he was doing and have a plan (as opposed to Jennifer's strategy of going to the souk and wandering about for a bit) but also had, as my sofa-mates pointed out, the massive advantage of not having a team composed entirely of c***s and c***s. Sweet, too, that previously-bullied Sara and Lucinda were singled out for special praise by Uncle Nick.

So I thought that Alpha's victory was thoroughly deserved and it warmed my cockles to see them bonding in a balloon - Raef also, again, charming me quietly, the smooth devil, by being probbaly the closest thing to a decent human being this show has let through the barriers for a while. Still impressed by his defence of Sara last week - hope it wasn't just for the cameras.

Margaret: "Well I think Michael's just a waste of space."
Spot. On. Couldn't believe his fudging about whether he was Jewish or not when he'd put it on his CV! He could have just said he was a secular Jew and hadn't been raised within the tradition, or whatever. But srsly, not to lie to SirAlan. He DOES NOT like.

14:10 / 08.05.08

To be fair to the ostensibly 'arrogant' Michael, he did seem scared witless for large chunks of that episode. During the tennis-gate incident, he'd looked like he'd have been much happier trying to score an assisted shower from the shop staff ('I give you money ... I give you ten dirhams ... twenty' indeed) and in the boardroom, I think even Siral feared for the state of Michael's trousers and pants by the end. Or failing that his chair.

Best episode yet though. Hopefully the series won't lose it's zing now ...

14:37 / 08.05.08

Be interesting to see what happens with the teams next week. Will one of the Alphas (Raef?) be moved over to Team Arsehole (who must all loathe each other after that showing, if they didn't before), or will there be a more radical shake-up?

Not in the Face

21:19 / 08.05.08

To be fair to the ostensibly 'arrogant' Michael, he did seem scared witless for large chunks of that episode

Don't forget, he's arrogant. Usually talking heads only indicate a level of cock-itude but to be followed by his pant wetting in the boardroom Michael's was truly excellent telly, even if he wouldn't have seen it like that given they probably encouraged him to say how arrogant he was in the prep.

Given how keen Nick and Margaret are to prick the balloon's of the contestants pomposity it must take all their willpower not have pulled faces during SirAlan's loathsome video peptalk at the start.

My money is on Claire, Raef and Lee to the final three, if Claire can avoid the boardroom until then. Given the quality of her current teammates she must be really hoping for a radical shake up next week. Otherwise it will be one of the women from the other team who get shifted over, probably Helen

00:00 / 09.05.08

Whether it's spending 2 hours arguing over an apostrophe or shouting at some poor Muslim butcher to praise Allah over a "kosher" chicken, these individuals seem to be providing, or being cleverly edited to provide, weight to the rather insidious argument that education standards are slipping.

What surprised me was that it wasn't just Michael (the nice Jewish boy), but the whole of Team Arsehole who didn't seem to understand what kosher meant, nor that it's different from halal (or that you usually don't find many rabbis in a mosque). Also, in addition to not knowing "kosher", Jenny didn't quite manage to understand that trying to bribe someone to not deliver tennis rackets is not espionage.

Anyway, the item-hunt episodes usually are good. At least they are in my mind, I'm actually tempted to download some old episodes and check. An additional bonus in this episode was Michael running (at the start, to answer the phone, also a few times in Marrakesh), with his little arms flapping around like they are totally beyond his control. He wasn't totally rubbish at negotiating as I had expected after his absolutely dreadful "negotiating" (yes, it was so bad it needs quotes around it) in the fish task.

I quite like Raef, but I doubt siralan will hire him. If he does too well he'll probably be let of with some lame excuse about him being too posh and not ready for any hard graft (no matter what the reality might be). I also really like Lee. He is so explosively energetic, and I am so hoping for a boardroom where siralan starts to say "I'll tell you something..." only to be interrupted by Lee's "No, I'll tell you something!" leaving siralan stunned and at a loss for words. Well, I can dream, can't I?

Whisky Priestess

01:10 / 09.05.08

"That's what Lee's TALKIN' about!!!!!"

03:51 / 09.05.08

My dream final three; Raef, Claire and Alex. Alex and Claire do their damnndest to keep the job idea alive, but Siralan has other ideas. 'I like you, Raef - you're everything I wished I could have been.

Raef say 'no'. He refuse. He say 'Sugar, you're a fool.'

'I'd rather have a fucking load of toot working for me, than you!'

'Alan, if you don't mind me saying so, you're like a crazy little man, overwhelmed by the sense of his, no doubt overwhelmingly large cock. Plus, actually, you're not all that rich, are you?'

Not in the Face

10:49 / 09.05.08

Plus, actually, you're not all that rich, are you?'

Nor indeed as influential as he might like to think

I agree that Raef, much like the stockbroker of series 1 will be rejected on the grounds that seeming posh makes one apparently less driven to work for SirAlan.

Just remembered that there won't be a final 3 due to team imabalance, two get fired in the penultimate round. So my money for the 4 are Claire, Raef, Lee and Sara as the outsider if she can pull of a win as a P.M

Michael has the black spot, Helen I think is on her own vs Luncida and Sara and hadn't really done much (Claire clearly considers everyone to be below her), Lucinda's status as an aromatherapist and dress sense is another black spot as far as SirAlan is concerned I think and despite his skills at arsse covering I think Nick and Margaret have him down as a wideboy

Whisky Priestess

11:33 / 09.05.08

I assume the last part of that sentence is referring to Alex, not Lucinda?

Not in the Face

13:48 / 09.05.08

Sorry, yes I did mean Alex. Although I think if he stopped whining and did something he would be a much more serious contender because he is good at covering himself in the boardroom

11:04 / 10.05.08

I agree. Lee's too demented, and Raef would turn the job down flat. Sara and Lucinda haven't been tested enough to satisfy the slavering monster on the other side of the boardroom, so it seems to me this is now between Alex and Claire. At least, I look forward to a more aggresive series of strategies from the pair of them, next week.

11:18 / 10.05.08

I agree that Raef, much like the stockbroker of series 1 will be rejected on the grounds that seeming posh makes one apparently less driven to work for SirAlan.

I don't know if class is really an issue. Alan Sugar is a sick beast, so surely desperation would be the motivating factor, if you signed up with his shit company, in order to sell his shit products, all the while imbibing his shit philosphy.

The fact that a guy of Sugar's calibre has been given a knighthood says everything anyboby needs to know about Britain these days, I fear, sadly.

Not in the Face

09:59 / 13.05.08

I don't know if class is really an issue. Alan Sugar is a sick beast, so surely desperation would be the motivating factor

But there's desperation and desperation. Whatever drives Raef to appear on the Apprentice (he is described an entrepreneur so my money is recent bankruptcy) he still gives the impression, as you say, that he'd walk away from SirAlan's demands that he wade through shit on broken glass to prove his devotion. Something Michael would do no questions asked and could be a factor if he sticks arouns more than two more episodes.

And by class I suppose I meant SirAlan's perception of class. There is no obvious indication that Raef or the S1 stockbroker wanted the post any less than any other candidate, but then as now their appaearance of being of a certain class (income level?) was all SirAlan needed to chuck him for not being keen enough. When it comes to the last 4, its even more about SirAlan's gut feeling.

Whisky Priestess

12:35 / 13.05.08

I don't know. Nick and Margaret are both pretty plum-in-mouth but I suppose they are forgiven for being SirAlan's generation, or something.

And let's not forget Cambridge-educated poshboy "property developer" Simon finally winning Sugar's wizened vegetable of a heart in the last series - it can happen! Raef shall go to the ball!

Not in the Face

23:16 / 14.05.08

Not in the Face my money for the 4 are Claire, Raef, Lee and Sara as the outsider if she can pull of a win as a P.M

Guess thats why bookies always smile when they see me coming. And speaking of desperation, SirAlan must have chortled himself to sleep every night for a week after Michael's grovelling. The editing was pretty poor this week. It was clear from the content of one of Sara's headshots reviewing the task 10 mins into the programme that her team had lost

00:47 / 15.05.08

No idea who's going to win this now.

Not Michael, clearly, and Helene is rather lost, but Lucinda, and, horrendously, Alex suddenly seem like contenders, along with the inevitable Raef, and the 'rootweiler' Clur.

Clur is obviously the best fit for the Sugar organisation, but will Alan realise this in time? His decision to keep Michael in the game thus far suggests that Alan has learned bloody nothing from the hi-fi fiasco in the Eighties thus - that Alan Sugar is still in business not because of his business descisions, but rather in spite of them.

Whisky Priestess

14:25 / 15.05.08

I honestly think that SirAl is just keeping Michael around for his own entertainment now, like a half-blind, incontinent old dog you're going to get around to shooting at some point but can't be arsed to at the moment, because its hapless stumbling antics afford you some measure of cruel amusement. There is no possible way Michael should, or can, win right now. He MUST know that. Hence the pre-emptive begging.

So yeah - Raef as a big teddy was priceless, if apparently unnecessary and possibly even damaging to the poor buggers who were trying to sell the high-end dresses and project an air of class. I love the way Raef walks, hands behind back, like the Duke of Edinburgh, even when he's dressed as a giant bear.

Clurr and Lucinda are still solid contenders, thanks to this week's win and Nick's (Nick''s!!!) praise of them. Helene will need to pull something bloody amazing out of the bag if she's not going to get fired by default. Michael, as discussed, is dead in the water. Lee McQueen and his amazing Cockney Tigger act ("Thass what I'm talkin' about!") are growing on me - and, I think, to judge by her little grin when Lee was boasting about his pants-selling prowess, on Margaret too.

Alex is on a warning - at last. I'd like to see him lead a task again because I just have no idea what he's done (apart from dodge bullets) for the last five weeks. Him and Raef, head to head, would be nice.

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