Slickest Lateshift to Date

06:47 / 14.09.07

If I were closer I'd volunteer to sing for your piratey auditions.

06:49 / 14.09.07

Deep breaths is all I can advise, which is a bit pointless, all told.

If I were a crueller person I would advise no breaths. This will take care of all your problems. But Im not. So I dont.

06:50 / 14.09.07

Hallo, Papyrus.

It's not that I torture myself, it's more like Medulla said, I just can't prioritize one thing over another because I feel like I owe all parties involved equally.

06:51 / 14.09.07

haha. Venger I would LOVE it if you would audition. I suggest you drive down just to audition, and then you can drink with us and listen to all the others audition.

06:51 / 14.09.07

oops. Actually we refer to them as Arrrditions. My bad.

06:51 / 14.09.07

Pit fight. The sole survivor is the one you owe your time to.

06:54 / 14.09.07

You have obviously never heard me sing. You would be dedicating the album: "To the memory of Venger, whom we made walk the plank 3 notes into the first song."

06:56 / 14.09.07

hey, you've heard us "sing." You know that "singing" is not a prerequisite.

ALL KINDS OF DEAD TREES
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06:58 / 14.09.07

I think it actually contravenes the Geneva Convention if I sing, so...

06:59 / 14.09.07

oh, you should Arrrdition too! We contravene the Geneva Convention like all the time. yarr.

07:01 / 14.09.07

I went to the Geneva Convention.. no comics. No sci-fi stars. No ANime. I was very dissapointed. And I think its spelled Genivieve.

07:05 / 14.09.07

I have a most unpirately confession to make.

I just went to look up "contravene" because I was kind of hoping it meant "pillage"....at ninjawords.com.

bad pirate.

07:09 / 14.09.07

On that tragic note I think I must take my leave and get to work a bit. I loves you guys, gnight!

07:11 / 14.09.07

g'nigh Leigh.

May you wake up to find all your work completed and your floor litered with ninja corpses.

07:23 / 14.09.07

Night, Leigh.
Probably g'night all - I should pretend to pay attention for a bit. Work.

ALL KINDS OF DEAD TREES
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03:53 / 15.09.07

I am sick at work, hopped up on ginseng, breathing universes, and thinking tasteless, tasteless thoughts. Barbelith, I call upon thee!

03:58 / 15.09.07

I RESPOND OH PAPERS!

How is everything. I should be asleep. But for you, my delicate mucus laden little muffin, I will struggle to stay awake.

Even though it is three in the morning.

Maybe I should open that bottle of red wine.
Probably not.

Have you ever been on Gaydar.co.uk? I've just noticed it's a sink of desperation and poor grammar.

I messaged like 10 people.
This is probably a bad thing.

But I'm thinking the way a mother turtle thinks; the more eggs I lay the less likely they will *all* die.

I am ever so full of words tonight.

04:07 / 15.09.07

Hey!

I'm watching Red Eye. Not so bad, but not good enough I'm watching it attentively instead of posting this.

04:09 / 15.09.07

I've just read the plot for that film.
It sounds pants.

04:11 / 15.09.07

But it features the eyes. The eyes, have another name, though, that appears on the credits: Cillian Murphy.

And Russian terrorists, of which there's been a dearth in recent years.

04:16 / 15.09.07

I saw that man in a film years ago.
I've been looking for his name since then.

Oh goodness he is so beautiful.
And, now you have given me his name, I can begin to prepare the wedding.

ALL KINDS OF DEAD TREES
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04:20 / 15.09.07

Cillian, while a wonderful first name, has never excited my passions, to be perfectly honest.

Princess! I call back to ye, across this distant, shamefully-darkened abyss, this vortex, this despairing yawn. How are you? You're in New Zealand now or something now, aren't you? I'm confused. I can't keep up with Barbelith's lives. I should really check your Facestab profile. I should really subscribe to the pamphlet.

Ah, Gaydar. I shy away from it, but I know people who use

Decadent, I want you to know that I have every intention of writing over the weekend so that you have more of Templechurch to read. There's been an encounter in the back gardens.

ALL KINDS OF DEAD TREES
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04:21 / 15.09.07

I am, I have to say, so very-very-very hot with this elephant shoved up my nose. Bertrand, his name is. Bertrand yearns to be a jazz musician.

04:24 / 15.09.07

Still in the UK where I can lord it over the comparitivelly ugly people. I haven't yet made the move to the country of my sexual desolation. We have got the papers through though. So a brand new life full of body related anxiety is opening up to me in the near future.

What instrument does Bertrand play? Is he a vocalist? Could you possibly transcribe some of Bertrand's jazz stylings? It would please me.

04:27 / 15.09.07

I can enjoy Murphy enough to cover for your unexcitedess, I guess. Hard work, but I think I'm up to it.

Yay, Templechurch!

Didn't we have a Barbe-map at some point? To simplify this where-do-ye-hail?

Mere days 'til I'm full-time in LA, which is a daunting, creepy move, but will involve cheaper rent, good business, and um, I could grow to be pretentious about it.

(These look better with bullet-points.)

ALL KINDS OF DEAD TREES
(prev. Papers regarding Tlön & Uqbar)

04:28 / 15.09.07

Who are you travelling to NZ with?

Bertrand often wishes he could have been born Duke Ellington, but sadly isn't. He's a vocalist at heart but his mother insisted he take piano, which is always a bit of a dodgy move on the part of an elephant. He's been known to pull a drag act on alternate Tuesdays, when he manages to climb out of my nose, dressing up as Nina Simone and singing torch songs.

04:33 / 15.09.07

With my parents and little brothers and dogs and cats and horse.

As soon as the house sells we are going. But at the moment it is £100,000 overpriced. Hopefully someone else will make the same mistake as the estate-agent and I can get a little white van to live in on the other side of the world.

Elephant/Nina Simone. I think I have a concept for a nude calendar RIGHT THERE.

On a similar tangent, today I spent a good 10 minutes trying to sing Wuthering Heights (by the Lady Bush) in a Zimbabwean accent.

04:35 / 15.09.07

I confess, this NZ move has got me intrigued. Are you going for love, for business, for political asylum?

Do you look like Robert Ford, but feel just like Jesse James?

ALL KINDS OF DEAD TREES
(prev. Papers regarding Tlön & Uqbar)

04:35 / 15.09.07

The Moors, the Moors!

I should look that up and see if I can download a copy. Ah, later. When I is at home, with my precious machinery.

I think you'll be fine in New Zealand, Princess. Just remember your bullet-deflecting bracelets and justice tiara.

04:36 / 15.09.07

If I ever have an elephant, I shall name them B. Torchy. And only those lucky lateshifters will ever know why. Or what the 'B' stands for.

ALL KINDS OF DEAD TREES
(prev. Papers regarding Tlön & Uqbar)

04:38 / 15.09.07

Of course, now you must acquire an elephant. Through any means necessary.

04:40 / 15.09.07

Pretty sure it's my destiny. The question is, do I get'em now, or wait until I've moved?

04:41 / 15.09.07

We just decided we should have an adventure.
That and we thought the standard of living would be better.
Less stressful, more green spaces, etc.

None of us have ever been or seen the place, so really we are just gambling our entire lives for a laugh.

I think this is probably the coolest thing my family has done since I was born. It makes me feel like one of the Wild Thornberrys.

I'm afraid I don't speak cowboy though. I like horses but that much brown leather puts me off a genre.