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Shut the FUCK UP: the thread for things/people/animals/entities that need to shut up

 
  

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Liger Null
22:50 / 13.12.07
SHUT THE FUCK UP people who use passing a driving test/car ownership as an index of maturity/functionality/general worth as a human being.

Ditto to that. And add to that list people who use marriage and/or childbearing in the same way.
 
 
DRR... DRR... DRR...
(prev. Mordant)
23:15 / 13.12.07
Yeah, stick 'em ALL in a car with a baby on board sticker and a bunch of cans tied to the back then wheel them of a cliff.

The CRIME is HIGH DOUCHERY IN THE FIRST. The sentence is PLUMMET.
 
 
Liger Null
04:00 / 15.12.07
No actual babies on board, though.

It's not their fault their parents are fuckwads.
 
 
Bots'wana Beast
(prev. Busts'wana Beast)
12:25 / 15.12.07
Yes, not to drive babies off cliff plz. 'Baby on board' stickers though, eh? I don't drive, so possibly I miss something here, but do you go "oh, I was going to drive really close, possibly ram the back end of your vehicle but the sticker has made me reconsider"? Do you?
 
 
DRR... DRR... DRR...
(prev. Mordant)
12:42 / 15.12.07
I read where it's for the benefit of the emergency services. If there's a crash it's easy to miss very little people in the confusion, sadly.
 
 
Bots'wana Beast
(prev. Busts'wana Beast)
13:44 / 15.12.07
Erk, really? It actually sounds quite sensible, put that way. Although 'little person on board' (rather than baby,) etc. are still a bitty cloying.
 
 
DRR... DRR... DRR...
(prev. Mordant)
13:54 / 15.12.07
I don't know if that's true, it's just something I've heard. And otherwise, yeah, those signs would be a bit pointless.
 
 
Benny the Ball
14:15 / 15.12.07
princess on board signs on the other hand....
 
 
THOR!
00:59 / 19.12.07
also a sign that the person in front might be braking a little more gingerly, so you might want to think about leavng a little more stoppage room. multifunctional, and pretty close on the whole wanky vs. just-fine-really scale. rather go without though really - i expect the market is actually made up of well meaning grandparents who love a trip to halfords more than, i hope, your be all and end all psycho parent types.
 
 
Stoatie. Stoatie? STOATIE.
(prev. Stoatie's power level is >9000)
01:21 / 19.12.07
well meaning grandparents who love a trip to halford

Someone should tell 'em, really, that Barry Chuckle's already nicked all the good shit. Save 'em a journey.
 
 
Tell me yr a pingle meece?
14:27 / 21.12.07
Humour 'comes from testosterone'

FFS. Apparently because men were more abusive to someone riding around on a unicycle, that means that they're "more comedic".

Wimminz = naturally grey-faced, as everyone knows anyway.
 
 
Dazzler
15:52 / 21.12.07
"Humour"
 
 
All Acting Regiment
19:53 / 07.01.08
Noughties so far: The soundtrack

By Alexis Pedtridis




The biggest influence on rock and pop music in the noughties has been the 90s. It was Britpop's desire for mass appeal that firmly introduced consensus culture to rock: the notion that it should not even nominally be the expression of authority-baiting, parent-scaring counterculture, but light entertainment that excludes no one, something the whole family can enjoy. So it has continued. The predominant sound of the decade so far has been what you might call consensus rock: the epic stadium balladry of Coldplay and their ilk.

You could argue that the fact that its designed for packed stadiums to bellow along to en masse suggests a desire for communion and togetherness in the post-9/11 world, but what it really tells you about the decade is that it has been filled with artists whose desire to be universally adored precluded doing anything particularly daring.

Fear of scaring off potential customers has largely proscribed politics in pop (if you're looking for a reflection of the weird combination of apathy and dissatisfaction that seems to define the noughties' electorate you'll find it on Radiohead's Hail to the Thief, an album filled with distrust of the government and dread for the planet's future, but on which the overriding message appears to be not "storm the barricades" but "tsk, typical"). Musical innovation has been left to predominantly black genres, be they R&B in the US or the multifarious offshoots of garage here, as well as the more forward-thinking pop producers - it's one of the weirdest quirks of noughties music that manufactured pop artists such as Britney Spears or Girls Aloud have ended up making more sonically interesting records than their more earnest rock counterparts. So its capacity for wry, sharp lyrical observation has been the most interesting thing about rock music in recent years, whether it takes the form of the dextrous vignettes painted by Alex Turner of the Arctic Monkeys or the Libertines' depictions of life in impoverished east London bohemia. Occasionally, the words collided with trail-blazing music to startling effect, as in the case of the Streets' idiosyncratic take on hip-hop and lad culture or Dizzee Rascal's astonishing Boy In Da Corner, the latter the most eloquent musical depiction of the sink estate teenager's aimless, disenfranchised rage.

But someone in 10 or 20 years' time looking to find the music that's most evocative of the noughties should remember that the most dependable Proustian rush is never provided by the best or most successful rock and pop music of any era. In a decade or two, the songs that will remind you the most sharply of this decade will be the ones that you'd forgotten had ever existed. The record that transports you back most efficiently to a Saturday-night town centre in the age of asbos and binge-drinking won't be Kaiser Chiefs' I Predict a Riot or the Arctic Monkeys' A View From the Afternoon, but something such as Bodyrockers' I Like the Way You Move, a novelty dance hit, that in its thick-necked, knuckle-dragging, open-gobbed stupidity inadvertently makes you think of men in Ben Sherman shirts stamping on each others' necks outside a nightclub.


Italics mine.
 
 
the andromeda mouse
20:44 / 07.01.08
Man, that's not even well written. And it's not a bad song either.

Not that it'll shut him up, but it's always nice to see Clarkson being corrected.
 
 
DRR... DRR... DRR...
(prev. Mordant)
19:46 / 29.05.08
Sharon Stone? Shut the fuck up.
 
 
All Acting Regiment
20:15 / 29.05.08
That's not actually how Karma is supposed to work, is it?
 
 
DRR... DRR... DRR...
(prev. Mordant)
20:18 / 29.05.08
No. Unless Ms. Stone believes that all those little kids who got crushed to death in their schools were oppressing Tibet in a past life.
 
 
Tsuga
01:55 / 30.05.08
Just like New Orleans, homosexuals, and Katrina.
 
 
Tell me yr a pingle meece?
21:08 / 24.06.08
You know that story up there about a study showing how men are naturally funnier than women? Apparently it was a JOKE article, in an edition of a journal well known for its JOKE articles. This story was ridiculously popular amongst major news sources, and not one of them picked up that it might not be a real study*, nor did any question the premise that "more abusive = funnier".

*Well, maybe a few did, and just didn't report on it; however, considering how all the biggest news sources took it up, it can't have happened much.
 
 
Our Lady Drinks Your Milkshake
10:10 / 25.06.08
Heinz, shut the fuck up and stop apologising to fuckwits.
 
 
Tell me yr a pingle meece?
10:51 / 25.06.08
Yeah, that. Anyone wanna see if 200 bigot-complaints can be beaten by complaints that it was pulled? Someone I know's already got 20-ish people to write in, so it should be possible...
 
 
Tell me yr a pingle meece?
11:02 / 25.06.08
... There we go, I've written mine.

And while we're on the subject of STFU and teh gays, Jacqui Smith can STFU too. Apparently, we're gonna be sending all the gay Iranian asylum seekers back "home" because they're not in danger if they don't, y'know, flaunt it.
 
 
Mr. Flunchy
12:20 / 25.06.08
I've emailed them too, what address did you use?

I found; http://www.heinzsight.co.uk/ContactUs.aspx

"I would like to express my disappointment that such a prestigious company would bow to the demands of bigots and homophobes."

That'll show 'em.
 
 
Tell me yr a pingle meece?
13:29 / 25.06.08
I used Consumer.Contact@uk.hjheinz.com and cc-ed new.complaints@asa.org.uk. Beasties.
 
 
Evil Scientist
14:14 / 25.06.08
"I would like to express my disappointment that such a prestigious company would bow to the demands of bigots and homophobes."

Just sent a similar email myself.

Rally the troops Barbelith, we ride on Heinz.
 
 
Axolotl
17:16 / 25.06.08
Just sent an e-mail to Heinz. Here is a link from the Guardian talking about organising a boycott and also a link for an online petition.

I also just had an aneurysm when I looked at some of the comments on the Times website, though the majority are against the decision there's a small minority of extremely small minded bigots praising the decision, including a lot of Americans who claim that they were boycotting Heinz anyway because of the John Kerry link which is just head-shakingly bizarre.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
17:54 / 25.06.08
I'd like everyone to think that I've just sent an e-mail to Iggle Piggle/Gordon Brown - in a sense, they are both 'In The Night Garden'.

I suppose I'd have to be completely insane to expect a response, but that's not to say I'm not waiting.
 
  

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