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Lame jokes and puns [PICS]

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Olulabelle

03:38 / 10.02.06

Innit. Arr.

Olulabelle

03:43 / 10.02.06

Conversation: One can get away with a bit of fluff. Random, incidental posts are OK, no?

Creation: People are trying to be seriously creative here. There are Artists! They are sensitive!

I'd wager this thread is neither artisitc, nor creative. I'd hate it if Creation got used as a place to hide things...

Stoat-ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH

03:45 / 10.02.06

Under the patio would, of course, be preferable.

Olulabelle

03:47 / 10.02.06

How do we put the thread under the patio?

Mistletoffelees
(prev. Mist van der Rohe)

03:57 / 10.02.06

You use a hedgeslammer.

Nuke Kids on the Bloc

03:59 / 10.02.06

Well I am a gardener. I'll leave a rose behind.

Dead Megatron

04:00 / 10.02.06

"Sledge Hammer". Man, i loved that show. They should make a movie out of it. With the same actor, if possible

Olulabelle

04:21 / 10.02.06

I'm worried about the roses. Wouldn't the thread contaminate the roses?

We need to ask Bob Flowerdew.

Our Lady Won't Do That Again

08:48 / 10.02.06

"What ever happened to the

s
? You know, the strong silent type?"

"Meh, I think he's dead T."

"In legal texts, a chapter is a technical notion, referring to a formal division, irrespective of actual length, grouping articles that belong together by subject and can thus be referred to as a whole."

"STRONG TRUTH!"

Ganesh

09:06 / 10.02.06

Wouldn't the thread contaminate the roses?

Nah, they like a bitty shitty.

Dead Megatron

15:27 / 10.02.06

[aside]

I want to take this opportunity to apologise to everyone for that (already deleted) tactless post I've made a wile back. I meant no offense, honest, and I won't do it again.

[end aside]

But, can I make jokes about flying sheep?

That Is All
(prev. Bizunth Again)

16:09 / 10.02.06

"Seems like everyone has a bloody tattoo nowadays."

Bear

16:34 / 10.02.06

Aren't threats of violence/death against others posters frowned upon or are they cool when everyone dislikes the person in question?

Dead Megatron

16:39 / 10.02.06

The Flying Sheep: The official Fathers 4 Justice super-mascote.

Dead Megatron

16:42 / 10.02.06

I don't know. Is it cool to make jokes about other people's countrymen who were murdered by government-sanctioned imncompetent assassins?

It will stop at Westminster and a cadre of terrorists disguised as Brazilian electricians will pile out.

Dead Megatron

16:43 / 10.02.06

"Incompetent" being the most important word...

A Haus of Minions

16:46 / 10.02.06

Actually, I think that was a joke about our police force.

I think your point is good, Bear - personally, I'm not a fan of some of the more paramilitary hostility here, although I can see the frustration it might spring from.

Mistletoffelees
(prev. Mist van der Rohe)

17:01 / 10.02.06

So, with everybody so close to start huggling, can we get it on with he lame jokes?

The doctor tells the patient, "I´ve got good news and bad news for you."
The patient says, "Tell me the good news first, please."
"Quite soon a deadly illness will be named after you!"

Dead Megatron

19:34 / 10.02.06

Actually, I think that was a joke about our police force.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the guy's family would find it very funny. I mean, five bullets to hte head? What a blast...

Dead Megatron

19:58 / 10.02.06

Here`s a self-referencing joke:

SOBRIETY SUX!!!

Gosh, I'm bored.

(not the funniest joke evah, though)

Life Critic

20:34 / 10.02.06

ah, but flyboy's allowed to threaten to hurt and kill, because he's barbelith's rottweiler... or something.

personally i think exaggerated threats of violence are hilarious, but then i masturbate to steven seagal movies.

Grandma loves children
(prev. Old dear. Gin. Problems)

20:51 / 10.02.06

If you're bored DM, why not try crawling on your belly from wherever-you-are's front door to the nearest bar-restaurant, all the while screaming out 'I am the worm man!'

Whenever the world starts to seem a bit grey and uninteresting, I always find that this works for me.

Dead Megatron

20:54 / 10.02.06

I used to do that too, but only in the movies where Stevie kicks the ass of some rich American white men. If I'm not mistaken, it only happened twice in his entire filmography...

Or Tommy Lee Jones in a leather jacket. That was funny too.

Dead Megatron

21:47 / 10.02.06

The previous post is a reply to toksik...

as for Alex's:

If you're bored DM, why not try crawling on your belly from wherever-you-are's front door to the nearest bar-restaurant, all the while screaming out 'I am the worm man!'

Whenever the world starts to seem a bit grey and uninteresting, I always find that this works for me.

Dude, GREAT IDEA! And today is Friday, the bars will be packing with naive teenage little girls who get freaked out by anything slightely out of norm, it will be AWESOME! I might even adapt the line a bit and yell BEWARE THE WORM MAN!!! yeah (I won't even change my clothes or take a shower)

Barbelith: not always easy, but always inspiring

astrojax69

23:16 / 10.02.06

(I won't even change my clothes or take a shower)

but dm, the worm man doesn't even like wear clothes, like. he's a nude dude.

will the bars let you in if you are worm but over 21?

Grandma loves children
(prev. Old dear. Gin. Problems)

04:35 / 11.02.06

DM;

It was only a suggestion - I like to fuck shit up toO,, 23 SKIDOO.

Grandma loves children
(prev. Old dear. Gin. Problems)

22:13 / 11.02.06

My apologies though, to you, DM, and to Barbelith in general, with regard to the references to gun-play, hired assassins and so on. There's a place for this stuff, and that place is fiction, and not particularly anywhere else. So, y'know, sorry.

Perhaps I've just become too involved in the world of The Punisher on PS2(which is after all only the real world... No, no, be silent, my voices. Be silent.)

Dead Megatron

00:29 / 12.02.06

I've taken no offense, actually. But, then again, I find the funny in lots of weeeeird stuff

Let's all then promise not to go there, even when we're joking, and we'll be fine. but i can tell you this: I hereby give leave to be used as joking matter by anyone. As long as there's some Monty Python reference, of course.

Let's just all get naked and do the worm...

Whisky Priestess

01:14 / 12.02.06

Frank... Frank, for pity's sake, put the damn thing down...

Ganesh

01:24 / 12.02.06

Pat? Oh, Pat, why did you leave me, gal?

Boboss

01:25 / 12.02.06

Biyannkahhh!

Mistletoffelees
(prev. Mist van der Rohe)

01:37 / 12.02.06

Once upon a time, there were Pat, Frank and Bianca.

Then along came Tinky-Winky, Po, Lala and Noonoo.

Boboss

01:38 / 12.02.06

That's just unpleasant.

Grandma loves children
(prev. Old dear. Gin. Problems)

02:07 / 12.02.06

If this is the kind of board that makes light of Frank Butcher's problems, I'd like to ask you, all of you - how does it feel to be such A BUNCH OF BLEEDING SLAGS?

START UP YOUR OWN BUSINESS, WHY DON'T YOU? STOP MESSING ABOUT!1!

Mourne Kransky

05:36 / 12.02.06

Get out of town
*quack*
Get out
*quack quack*
Get out
*quack quack*
Get out of town

And he went with a quack and a waddle and a quack
In a flurry of eiderdown

And he came back when the ratings slumped and the relics of the Glory Days were revived. Man cannot live by panto alone.

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