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Lame jokes and puns [PICS]

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Better Be Ready
(prev. Dead Mall Ninja)

22:16 / 09.02.06

Page Two already. Soon, I shall take over the word!

Better Be Ready
(prev. Dead Mall Ninja)

22:17 / 09.02.06

I mean, the world. Talking about lame puns

DRR... DRR... DRR...
(prev. Mordant)

22:26 / 09.02.06

Someone. Make. It. Stop.

22:29 / 09.02.06

I think you've got more than enough stops in that post already, MC.

I'm not helping.

Tom Paine's Bones

22:34 / 09.02.06

Ha, I'm unbeatable!

Is that a challenge?

Stoatie. Stoatie? STOATIE.
(prev. Stoatie's power level is >9000)

23:01 / 09.02.06

NOTHING is unbeatable, given the right tools for the job.

Better Be Ready
(prev. Dead Mall Ninja)

23:10 / 09.02.06

Someone. Make. It. Stop.

It always freaks me out when MC starts punctuating. every. word. like. that. Sorry, my friend, it will never stop now.

And you betcha it's a challenge

23:17 / 09.02.06

'bout the only joke i ever made up...

q what would bob dylan be if you cut off his nose?

a mute

telegram for mordant:
somebody stop stop stop me stop

Mon Oncle Ignatius

23:20 / 09.02.06

telegram for mordant:
somebody stop stop stop me stop

It won't get there. Telegrams were just abolished recently ... or do they still have telegrams in Spain?

23:23 / 09.02.06

(Off-topic;

Does anyone know, hypothetically, what would be involved, in terms of logistics, costs, planning and so on, with regard to having having someone in say, Argentina, Columbia or possibly Ecuador, hunted down and killed?)

23:34 / 09.02.06

The bigger the rocket...

The bigger the rocket what? Is this because rockets are a bit cock-shaped and gayers like cock - all of which is inherently hilarious - or am I missing an extra-jocular subtext?

And, I would like to nominate Saturn as the "gayest planet" of the Solar System. All those colouful rings are such a give-away...

Hahahah yes, because "rings" could signify anal sphincters, yes? Umm, "colourful" ones? And gayers like touching each others' bottoms? Hahah, that one is funny.

You missed out something about Uranus. Your. Anus!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

*pops ribs*

23:41 / 09.02.06

Someone. Make. It. Stop.

At least it's here. And not all over the rest of the board like a hideously unpleasant cock rotting rash.

Megatron: This marginal defence doesn't mean I like you. If you find another board that would be better suited to your iconclastic wit, don't let me stop you leaving!

Tom Paine's Bones

23:56 / 09.02.06

Does anyone know, hypothetically, what would be involved, in terms of logistics, costs, planning and so on, with regard to having having someone in say, Argentina, Columbia or possibly Ecuador, hunted down and killed?)

Surely a decent sized benefit gig would cover it?

Or setting up as a registered charity.

Better Be Ready
(prev. Dead Mall Ninja)

23:57 / 09.02.06

Ganesh: good come-back

Ilmatic: not so much

Superman
(prev. Iron Man)

00:14 / 10.02.06

Shut up and look at this picture.

It's what this thread is like.

00:28 / 10.02.06

Obi-Wan Kenobi had a mullet you know, and he's got a lightsaber so that makes him ubercool.

Better Be Ready
(prev. Dead Mall Ninja)

00:32 / 10.02.06

Unbelivably great pic. This is what this threat is all about. I nominate that guy for King of all Mullets!!!

Hahahah yes, because "rings" could signify anal sphincters, yes? Umm, "colourful" ones? And gayers like touching each others' bottoms? Hahah, that one is funny.

Actually, it was a pun about "planets in drag", not a reference to a body part. You're the one thinking about sphincters, Ganesh.

00:33 / 10.02.06

only drag queen i know is a boy who fucks girls.
doofus.

ni, fnord, etc.

00:37 / 10.02.06

Actually, it was a pun about "planets in drag", not a reference to a body part.

Because...

*thinks*

... "colourful rings" = "drag" and "drag" = "gay", and the whole bally lot = hahahalaaarious!!1!

Tt. Obvious, really! Me and my dirty mind!!

West Baltimore Hausing Project

00:41 / 10.02.06

DM: Possibly if you don't talk about sex?

Better Be Ready
(prev. Dead Mall Ninja)

00:43 / 10.02.06

It's probably better

00:50 / 10.02.06

Ha! whare ye gaun' ye crowlin ferlie?
Your impudence protects you sairly;
I canna say but ye strunt rarely
Owre gauze and lace,
Tho faith! I fear ye dine but sparely
On sic a place.

00:50 / 10.02.06

I can feel

the soil

falling

over

my

head

Tamara Willett Hurt
(prev. Milton FUCKING Friedman)

01:47 / 10.02.06

Grandma: I'll do it for the price of a plane ticket.

Triplets
(prev. I AM THE DARK! I AM THE NIGHT!)

02:11 / 10.02.06

All "sarcarm" aside for the moment...

DM, this thread is shit. It's not putting anything constructive into Barbelith and is just a place for you to egowank. A quick look through shows that pretty much every post to this thread, by you, refers, in some part, to yourself directly.

Oh, shut the f&%# up, Haus. This is my thread

(jokes directed exclusively at me would be even more fun)

But, y'know, you're either 14 or a troll. Both.

But that's not all. We also have gay jokes which are "just a joookke!23!", or other posters being obsessed with (teh gay) sex, of course.

This thread is the equivalent of a concrete sandwich. It doesn't benefit anyone and I can't see why people are dealing with it instead of throwing it out.

But if Barbelith re-e-a-lly needs a thread like this, which is for one poster by one poster, why can't it be in Creation where it'll cause less disruption?

Mist combats dehydration
(prev. Alles Mist!)

02:12 / 10.02.06

I just finished watching Seven the first time since I saw it at the cinema ten years ago. And the hammer photo reminded me of what John Doe said at the end of the movie:

"Wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer, and then you'll notice you've got their strict attention."

Dead Megatron is using a sledgehammer to get our attention. Maybe he should watch what happens with John Doe, and start trying the shoulder tapping?

02:18 / 10.02.06

We also have gay jokes which are "just a joookke!23!"

That's the thing, though. The 'gay jokes' are so weak as to be unrecognisable as jokes. Shakespeare made better jokes.

02:23 / 10.02.06

NB: That's not an invitation to attempt better 'gay jokes', DM. Just not to call them 'jokes' when there's no discernable wit or humour therein.

Better Be Ready
(prev. Dead Mall Ninja)

02:50 / 10.02.06

Moving on, people

This is from "False images of Oz" thread:

From the biological (zoological and botanic) point of view, and I'm speaking as a former biologist, Australia is like a whole other planet, or maybe some sort of atavic "Lost World". I mean, marsupials being the dominant mammals? Talking about weeiird!

It's also like South America before the land bridge between it and North America got thrown up by volcanoes (or simillar), and allowed the N. American mammals acess to what had once been the Marsupial Jungle Wonderland Experience.

I sometimes feel I might be developing "placental mammal's guilt" when I think about how we (well, mammoths and deer and what not) wiped out all the giant ground sloths and marsupial "sabre-tooth tigers" (convergent evolution: the sabre tooth tiger archetype evolved a bunch of different times in the cat family proper and almost as many times among the pouch brigade, fact fans).

At least the tree kangaroo lives on, and there's some more been discovered in Papua.

Yeah, evolution is such a bitch. No mercy on the weakling.

I never even heard of tree kangaroos before now. Cute little things, I wish I had one for a pet.

Shrug: Butcher Boy

02:52 / 10.02.06

But if Barbelith re-e-a-lly needs a thread like this, which is for one poster by one poster, why can't it be in Creation where it'll cause less disruption?

Er no. Creation isn't a dumping ground and this obviously isn't Creation material.

03:27 / 10.02.06

Mist;

I could be wrong, but wasn't the suggestion that DM should have a sledgehammer used on him, rather than anything to do with his fnording pranksterism?

Either way, Shaftoe, the ticket's on it's way.

Mist combats dehydration
(prev. Alles Mist!)

03:30 / 10.02.06

Yes Alex, you´re right.
I explained it in my post: The killer in Se7en says "(see my post)", and that and the photo gave my the image of Megatron using this heavy handed method to get attention.

Stoatie. Stoatie? STOATIE.
(prev. Stoatie's power level is >9000)

03:30 / 10.02.06

And just so's there's no confusion, I can lend you the hammer.

Triplets
(prev. I AM THE DARK! I AM THE NIGHT!)

03:34 / 10.02.06

Er no. Creation isn't a dumping ground and this obviously isn't Creation material.

Point. But DM posting things for his own benefit is hardly a Conversation, innit.

Mist combats dehydration
(prev. Alles Mist!)

03:37 / 10.02.06

"Stoatie, that was excessively violent and completely unnecessary. I loved it."

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