|Jeez you guys are harsh. But maybe ive mis-represented myself. My wife and i consider ourselves equals in our relationship, hence we respect eachother very much. She is not my "poor wife." Nobody disapproved. But she does cling to pointless traditions that i generally have no use for, as i already said.|
So, Quik, I’m interested in the idea that your marriage means more to your wife because of your indifference to it.
Now, because she clings to pointless traditions, she wanted to get married. It means more to her, not because she saw it as forcing me to commit or whatever, but because we were already comitted to eachother. It was because the ceremony was part of some teenage fantasy she once had with the big white dress and the huge family gathering and the walking down the aisle to music and all that bit. So because she knew i harbored no such fantasy and i still through myself into the planning and patricipation whole heartedly and all that for her sake, it meant more to her. And we are very happily married now, though very little has changed between us. Our relationship is probably healthier than most any other we know about. But it's not due to signing a piece of paper declaring us married.
The legal aspects are just gravy at this point. But that itself is just as valid a reason to get married as anything else i would think.
Question being a) can you have one element without t'othr, and if so should you? Is marriage, among other things, a convenient way for the state to normalise legally people's desire to nominate e.g. the person who would be entitled to £200,000 of their wealth should they die intestate without making them go through the process of drawing up papers? Is it the role of the state to bundle like this?
No I dont think you should have one without t'othr. It is a convenient way to normalize it all to which i think every consenting adult should be free to utilize (gay, straight, or otherwise, going back to the original post).
It is the role of the state to bundle things like that because it's what most people want, like i said before. Should it be? I dont know. The government enforces the laws, and since being married is also a legal status, it makes sense that they would be part of enforcing it. Who else would do it? Government has become this huge, impersonal, "thing." Maybe it would be more appropriate if it was only people's local government that recognized it instead of larger government?