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Molatar Seth Pyrargent is my saviour, I’ve renounced my Satan worshipping, role-playing, abortion having, suicideing, homosexual drug taking ways, no more magick or vampirism for me. No way !
After reading Lord Molatar's site it made me realise that I wasn’t alone, see, ive always thought, NO, known that in my heart I am an Ocelot (my otherkin).
I spent last night m-shifting around the streets of Pontypridd, in a berserk state! First on I put on my furr suit, a tail (the cord off my mums curtains) leather trousers (of course) white Hi tek boots, foot ball shin pads (with spikes glued to them) my girlfriends big leather belt (I had to look after it, she got it from Monsoon apparently) with a carving knife stuck through it, a string vest, and my beautiful ocelot mask, lovingly crafted (in one hour!) from some carpet off cuts. To finish it off I borrowed my neighbours light sabre.
To get into a berserk state first of all I waited until about 3:45 (when kids are coming home from school) and ran up and down my street assuming different ocelot style stances, imagining the spirits that were accompanying me (and the threat of deadly black bears) the scared or mocking reactions of the children pushed me over the edge, I was completely berserk! I ran through the town centre to the park, where I just kind of ran around and hid in some bushes, imagining that I was hunting for mice... or frogs! I slept in the boughs of a tree, like a real ocelot ! when I woke it was dark and my new ocelot senses told me that evil drunk people were near, switching on my light sabre I leapt into action, assuming an ocelot pose I approached the foolish drunkards. They appeared bemused at first, then surly as I explained that alcohol was the most dangerous drug in the world, and that alcohol will cause cirrhosis of the liver, a disease where the liver cells which detoxify the blood die and are replaced by fatty tissue. After they broke my lightsabre and pulled off my tail I ran away. Shouting at them that I would have my revenge as they were all going to burn in hell for eternity.
Eventually I returned home, exhilarated and egar to share my experiences with Mrs Admiral Sausage, unfortunately she didn’t understand, and actually became quite frightened when I started to describe ocelot anatomy, especially when I told her that ocelots have 5 testes and 3 cocks (she didn’t like the prosthetics I had hidden in my leather trousers). She made me sleep in the car.
And that's all I have to say about the subject.
Love and meows. God Bless.
Admiral Sausage
Ocelot, Evangelist, Park keeper. |
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