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Text Adventure Game Emulator #1

 
  

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A Qalyn Signifier ==>
(prev. Sign of Qalyn)
01:53 / 03.12.07
Hey! Where is that autographed picture of Paul Rudd!?!

Don't tell me I left it in Caroline's living room!

Fuck!
 
 
A Qalyn Signifier ==>
(prev. Sign of Qalyn)
02:02 / 03.12.07
Christ, first Fite! disappears and now this shit. I am steamed!
 
 
Tamara Willett Hurt
02:11 / 03.12.07
You did not take the signed photo of Paul Rudd.
 
 
Tamara Willett Hurt
02:29 / 03.12.07
You haul yourself, your satchel and the SMG up through the open hatch, and lie flat on the roof of the elevator as it ascends.

You attempt to shut the hatch, but keep it open a sliver using the Library Card you have on you. Unfortunately the Library Card is too flimsy for such a purpose. It snaps in two, one half falling down into the lift, and the hatch slams shut, almost trapping your fingers in the process.

PING!

The lift has arrived at the third and top floor. You know this because there is very little room between where you are lying, and the roof of the elevator shaft.

You hear the doors open and two people run into the elevator. There is the tell-tale sound of semi-automatic gunfire from both beneath you and outside the lift. Then another 'PING!', the sound of doors shutting, and the lift starts to descend.

You hear the familiar voice of Agent John Highgraves.

"It's just a fleshwound. Everything okay with you?"

"I got the bombs", says Maya.

"Then we're all set", says Highgraves. "Let's blow this place to smithereens."
 
 
A Qalyn Signifier ==>
(prev. Sign of Qalyn)
04:14 / 03.12.07
Open hatch.

Shoot them both.
 
 
Tamara Willett Hurt
10:36 / 03.12.07
You can't seem to prize the hatch open again with your bare hands.

With a truly horrible sound that combines loud rumbling with the screech of metal under stress, the elevator grinds to a halt. You hear Maya ask:

"What was that?"

"Shit. They've jammed the lift", says Highgraves.

You are in an elevator shaft. There is a cable snaking upwards into darkness. UP, and to the NORTH, you can see a closed doorway.

Beneath you, the elevator creaks and shudders.
 
 
Jenna Elfman's Hollywood Haus
(prev. West Baltimore Hausing Project)
10:54 / 03.12.07
Up.
 
 
Tamara Willett Hurt
11:23 / 03.12.07
You stand up carefully, grip the elevator cable, and begin to climb, with your satchel over your shoulder and the SMG awkwardly tucked under one arm.

The latter makes climbing difficult, and slows you down considerably. It takes you several minutes to climb even the short distance to bring you level with the door to the NORTH.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
14:30 / 03.12.07
Assess distance between the door and the top of the lift.

Attempt to reach over and open the door, while taking extra-special care not to drop the precious SMG in the process. Because that would be bad.
 
 
Jenna Elfman's Hollywood Haus
(prev. West Baltimore Hausing Project)
14:40 / 03.12.07
Save.
 
 
Tamara Willett Hurt
16:08 / 03.12.07
The distance from the bottom of the doorway to the roof of the elevator – i.e. the distance between your feet and the elevator roof – is roughly ten feet.

Gripping the cable tightly with one hand and both feet, the SMG wedged between the cable and your body, you lean forward as far as you can, until your fingers are scrabbling at the point where the two halves of the exterior door meet. It's hopeless – there’s no way you’ll be able to get any leverage, even if you were strong enough to force the door open.

You try holding onto the cable with both hands and swinging your feet across to the door, but kicking it does nothing, and there isn't enough of a ledge sticking out beneath the door for you to stand on.

You're on the point of despair when for the first time, you notice a glass panel marked "MANUAL ACCESS OVERRIDE – LEVEL 3" on the wall next to the door, level with your head. There is a handle visible behind the glass.
 
 
A Qalyn Signifier ==>
(prev. Sign of Qalyn)
17:00 / 03.12.07
Smash glass
 
 
A Qalyn Signifier ==>
(prev. Sign of Qalyn)
17:01 / 03.12.07
Smash glass with fist
 
 
Tamara Willett Hurt
17:07 / 03.12.07
You punch the glass as hard as you can. It hurts. A lot. The glass remains unbroken.
 
 
A Qalyn Signifier ==>
(prev. Sign of Qalyn)
17:08 / 03.12.07
God, why am I such a pussy? Smash glass with butt of SMG.
 
 
Tamara Willett Hurt
17:18 / 03.12.07
You smash the butt of the SMG against the glass panel. It shatters instantly, and every single piece of the glass falls down onto the elevator roof, some of them landing jagged edge side up, implausibly.

There is now a red handle clearly visible and accessible, set into a hole in the wall.
 
 
A Qalyn Signifier ==>
(prev. Sign of Qalyn)
17:28 / 03.12.07
Pull handle.
 
 
Tamara Willett Hurt
17:45 / 03.12.07
You reach over and pull the handle down. The door slides open, leaving an open doorway to the NORTH. Bright light dazzles your eyes if you try to look through the doorway.

The elevator cable makes a horrible, strained sound.
 
 
A Qalyn Signifier ==>
(prev. Sign of Qalyn)
17:50 / 03.12.07
Go into the light!
 
 
Who Is Grumpy-Pants, Anyway?
(prev. Who Invited Grumpy-Pants?)
17:50 / 03.12.07
Jump North.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
19:11 / 03.12.07
Wait.

Inner dilemna synopsis - What's been happening to self since arriving on island?

All of it, summed up, in less than a thousand words?

A brief recollection.

Lock and load, obviously, while recalling traumatic events.

And humming 'Chinese Rocks' by Johnny Thunders. And the Heartbreakers.
 
 
Tamara Willett Hurt
22:07 / 03.12.07
You toss your satchel and the SMG through the door, and begin to swing backwards and forwards on the cable to gain as much momentum as much as possible. Suddenly, the elevator roars into life once more, and begins to descend, the cable moving beneath your grip. You have no choice but to hurl yourself forward, landing hard, half in and half out of the doorway, knocking the air out of your lungs.

Somehow you manage to drag yourself out of the elevator shaft before there's a 'PING!' sound and the door closes behind you.

You lie there, stunned, on a carpeted floor, eyes closed, pondering on everything that's happened since you woke up in that clearing. Tripping over a monkey corpse. Bartering with Ludacris. Meeting Maya. Bartering at the PWN SHOP. Meeting Mr Shawn. Being attacked by Robert and Pete in your hotel room. Buying a trenchcoat of invisibility. Meeting Caroline. Confronting Mr Shawn and Mr Gregory in Il Centro. Going to a party with Caroline. Getting Fite!, the magic flying horse. Spending the night with Caroline. Waking up to find your guns gone, her flatmate dead, and his laptop wired to explode. Barely making it out of her flat before it blew. Meeting Robert for coffee, and his subsequent assassination. Getting into the Facility. Professor Winter. Fighting Andre Junior KHan. Getting slapped round the face by Agent 'Katya' KHan. The rat. And so on. And so forth. What does it all mean?

"I'm living on a Chinese Rock
All my best things are in hock..."


You're not sure where you know this song from, but as you lie there, eyes closed, humming it, it seems to bring you a modicum of peace.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
22:50 / 03.12.07
Think positive. Scope out the room.
 
 
Tamara Willett Hurt
23:57 / 03.12.07
"On your feet, soldier", you tell yourself. "Everything's going to be okay."

You stagger to your feet and take in your surroundings.

You are in a rather unusual room which you assume must be some kind of observation deck. The eastern wall, northern wall and roof are all comprised of paned glass, curved where they meet. The bright light comes from the afternoon sun, streaming in through the glass. The glass appears to be shatterproof, but is nevertheless pocked with the tell-tale marks where bullets have impacted. The sun also makes the room very warm. The air is hazy and smells of cordite.

There is a glass door offering an exit to the WEST.

The room has a thick white carpet, and there is a long raised window seat along the northern edge of the room, also in white. Both of these, however, are stained with blood, and you count half a dozen dead guards in the room.

Or... wait - was that a groan of pain you just heard?
 
 
Jenna Elfman's Hollywood Haus
(prev. West Baltimore Hausing Project)
00:35 / 04.12.07
Exam guards.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
01:04 / 04.12.07
Too depressing not to think about knives, so:

Approach whatever guard is still living, dance around to 'Rocking In All Over The World', in head, and then ... just go crazy with the knife. Bad crazy.
 
 
Who Is Grumpy-Pants, Anyway?
(prev. Who Invited Grumpy-Pants?)
01:08 / 04.12.07
But not stabbing crazy. Just waving the knife around in the air crazy. In a bad way.
 
 
A Qalyn Signifier ==>
(prev. Sign of Qalyn)
01:54 / 04.12.07
Man. I am hungry.
 
 
HCE
(prev. brb)
02:22 / 04.12.07
Do not eat guards.
 
 
A Qalyn Signifier ==>
(prev. Sign of Qalyn)
03:26 / 04.12.07
Protein, I need protein.
 
 
the andromeda mouse
03:54 / 04.12.07
You're 17% protein, you greedy fool!
 
 
A Qalyn Signifier ==>
(prev. Sign of Qalyn)
06:08 / 04.12.07
That...

That's way too low.
 
 
HCE
(prev. brb)
07:33 / 04.12.07
Pacific Time Zone represent. Compton up in this piece. We do not eat the guards, protein-rich thought they may be.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
12:16 / 04.12.07
Not to eat the guards, then.

But it's been a while since we had a romantic interlude, on this island of death?
 
 
A Qalyn Signifier ==>
(prev. Sign of Qalyn)
15:15 / 04.12.07
Eat the guards!?! Lord no! It would take a reckless person to eat raw manflesh in this day and age.

Anyhoo. Collect some ammo. Search for survivor.

Is he cute?
 
  

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