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Stupid Human Tricks

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19:54 / 10.08.04

Most of you probably have one... that one weird little thing that you can do, that no one else can. Probably not anything of any practical use, but something unique and strange...

What's yours? Can you multiply six-digit numbers in your head? Hold your breath for five minutes? Burp the alphabet? Spit twenty feet?

Boast of your strange talents!

(Mine is that I can wiggle my ears. Simultaneously or completely independent of each other.)

20:10 / 10.08.04

I can lick a very...masculine...part of myself.

Nuke Kids on the Bloc

20:48 / 10.08.04

I can remember any dream I've ever had. Since about the age of six.

21:52 / 10.08.04

i can fart on purpose... and i can control my dreams from time to time...but others can too

Cloned Christ on a HoverDonkey

22:35 / 10.08.04

I nac klat sdrawkcab.

The Prince of All Lies

23:10 / 10.08.04

I can open champagne bottles without blinding someone with the cork. I have complete mastery over the cork. I pity the fools that cower under the table when I reach for the champagne.

I can also play the guitar backwards.

Keggers From The Crypt

23:14 / 10.08.04

I can throw knives and cards. Acurately too.

Mordant Carnival

23:26 / 10.08.04

I can make stew*. And say "fuck" in Spanish**. And...

Actually, that's about all I've got***.

*Really good stew, mind you.
**Admittedly so can most Spanish people, but I do it with verve and alacrity.
***Apart from the 12-inch-adamantium-blades-from-the-knuckles thing. But I can't do that if anyone's watching.

00:13 / 11.08.04

I can make my eyeballs vibrate, but it's quite common really.

Stoat-ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH

00:45 / 11.08.04

I can touch my nose with my tongue. And juggle. Not tried doing them both at the same time, mind...

01:14 / 11.08.04

I was once told "It's impossible to lick your own elbow," thought it sounded like a challenge to me, and did so, thus disproving the theory.

Now that's my "thing." I'm the guy who can lick his elbow. It's more of a function of a long tongue than any kind of arm/joint flexibility.

Xavier has yet to return my calls.

01:23 / 11.08.04

Um, I can put my head between my feet... from behind. Like, my feet are flat on the floor and so is the underside of my chin. It's kind of a circus freak trick. I just did it to be sure I wasn't lying, and, yep, I can still do it.
And not to steal your thunder, Mordant, but...
¡Joder!

01:29 / 11.08.04

I can make my eyeballs vibrate, but it's quite common really.

i was once told to stop doing that by a lady on the grounds that it was a symptom of brain disfunction and it freaked her out.
dunno if it is, but i have noticed it happens more often(and involuntarily) after one has ingested MDMA.

she could have beeen wrong...

05:51 / 11.08.04

I can skoonspruit voluntarily. With range and accuracy. I have taught this deadly art to ONE other, and he used it for evil. Alright, he used it on ME. Ungrateful bastard...

Brigade du jour

06:00 / 11.08.04

I can put my left big toe in my mouth. Sometimes without detaching my leg.

Oh, and I don't know anyone who does a better impression of Zoidberg from Futurama.

07:40 / 11.08.04

Three words.

Donald. Sutherland. Impression.

Brigade du jour

06:49 / 12.08.04

The lithp, Czernobog, can you do the lithp!? It'th tho important!

12:34 / 12.08.04

Are we talking Backdraft, or Invasion of the Bodysnatchers?
Or Cloudbusting! With Kate Bush! RRRowrrrRRR!

12:38 / 12.08.04

I can rub my stomach in a circular motion and pat myself on the head at the same time. Not much of a superpower, but I suppose it could be used to disconcert and distract one's enemies.

12:53 / 12.08.04

Czernobog, most importantly can you do him as Oddball from "Kelly's Heroes"?
"Always with the negative waves Moriarty, always with the negative waves"

13:14 / 12.08.04

I can dance. People sometimes come up to me and ask me if I get paid for it. I’m usually one of the first people on the dancefloor and I stay till the bitter end. I can’t even find the time to get a drink sometimes – yep, I can dance even when I’m sober. I’m also always the first person to start dancing at gigs.

I can do a special dance if there’s someone I fancy who I would like to be chatted up by – and it usually works*.

*It works for about five minutes then guys usually lose interest and move on. I’m quite a bore when I’m not dancing. Ah well, no-one’s perfect.

13:40 / 12.08.04

I can do a pathable Donald Thutherland and a great Dr Zoidberg, why not (And Fry, Kif, Zapp Brannigan, Comic Book Guy, Snake, Megatron, Dr Evil, Nigel Tufnel, Toby the Genuine Nerd...) They will call me: The Impersinator!

Hattie's Kitchen

13:59 / 12.08.04

I can swim two lengths of a standard-sized swimming pool without coming up for air. And I can spin tassles on my ladyboobs.

14:39 / 12.08.04

I can remember every song lyric in my CD collection. Even the crazy Tori Amos lyrics.

16:24 / 12.08.04

I could once bite my toenails, but I've just tried and I can't anymore.
I've lost my superpower!

17:22 / 12.08.04

Y'know, I think that might be for the best...

18:41 / 12.08.04

Ok not me but my friend since he was young could talk backwards to any sentence or phrase or anything and it's all gobbledegook anyway but really cool. It always facinated me because he thought everybody could do it until he found out early in his life nobody could do it.

19:19 / 12.08.04

tell hir ze needs to learn to MC!
that would be fucking awesome on some of the trippier tracks, runnning the verse forwards and backwards at will, skipping your words, stuttering and just rewinding.... man, the cool as fuck factor would certainly be present.

ze could win any freestyle competition first time ze enters it.

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

01:46 / 13.08.04

I have a few:

-Can tie a cherry stem in a knot in my mouth (I loved Twin Peaks)
-I can snatch up to 10 quarters off of my elbow
-shuffle poker chips like the people on TV
-I can do a dead-on impression of the movie trailer guy ("In a world...")

04:33 / 13.08.04

Ha! Yes!! I can do the movie trailer guy too.

Remembered (and used) another power tonight: The ability to accurately predict/summon the arrival of a bus (but only when fully channelling my thoughts...)

I am intreagued by imaginary mice's "special dance". Can you elaborate? Having dancing powers myself, perhaps we should form a crime-fighting dance duo...?

Nuke Kids on the Bloc

05:37 / 13.08.04

Czernobog [Blood 2 ref?] and Solitaire. You guys need to record you impressions and put them up online. I would love you QUITE a bit.

05:52 / 13.08.04

Sorry. If there's one thing I am not it is tech savvy. Besides, it's not just the voice, you've got to get the face and the body otherwise the impression is nothing. (nothing I tell you!)

By the by, as far as Sutherland is concerned, I specialize in Backdraft, Animal House, and M*A*S*H lines.

Grandma loves children
(prev. Old dear. Gin. Problems)

06:04 / 13.08.04

I can find my way back home on a Saturday evening with the accuracy of a smart bomb, though at times, admittedly, being roughly as welcome.

Whisky Priestess

00:06 / 25.04.07

I used to be able to write villanelles very quickly. Haven't tried it recently, for some crazy reason, like it being completely useless and unrewarded. I can still write song lyrics very quickly though. And they rhyme and scan and everything.

I am occasionally very good at guessing things - less in the film twist sense (although I'm reasonable at that) and more in the what people are about to say way, when they reckon they're going to really surprise me. Some examples:

Friend: Guess how many girls I've been out with since I last saw you?
(Answer: Three)

Friend: Guess why people didn't realise this girl was my sister when she was on stage?
(Answer: he's white, she's black (adopted))

I also had a spooky guessing moment at school in a Drama lesson where the other kids drew a Tarot card from the pack and I guessed it correctly. (Death, natch).

And online where I guessed to a pretty high level of accuracy what the upcoming picture was going to be.

I try only to use my crap intermittent power of guessing for good, though. On the whole, I think I'd rather be able to tie cherry-stalks with my tongue.

Oh, and I can blow bubbles in chewing-gum! Any good to you?

00:19 / 25.04.07

I can make little origami triangles out of crisp packets, which is a very useful skill because it makes them fit very nicely in the pub ashtray. Also it makes people pick them up and go, "Ooooh. Cool."

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