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Underground > Film, TV & Theatre >

Transformers: the Movie (dir. Michael Bay, 2007) - SPOILERS

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16:25 / 27.07.04

Lover's what? This isn't more slash, is it?

16:37 / 27.07.04

slash is fanfic where the characters go at it yeh?
fanfic is like playing with your transformer toys in your bedroom, but on paper right?

i don't know if its like that at all. i am going to mention the bit though where Megatron and the poor, tin-pot, mindless, human-built, remote-control friend-of-the-dinobots Centurion were set on fire before tangoing into the thames, where they stayed for months rucking and rucking on the riverbed before richard branson came along and winched them up. that bit'll go in the movie for sure.

Tamara Willett Hurt
(prev. Milton FUCKING Friedman)

16:47 / 27.07.04

It would be nice if it was, eh?

But wait, didn't that turn out to not be the real Megatron at all, but a lookalikey created by Lord Straxus? I know that storyline was really ill-advised, but it was still Furman...

16:51 / 27.07.04

i didn't know that, i think that was near the end of my paronage, but it wouldn't surprise me. fucking straxus.

Tamara Willett Hurt
(prev. Milton FUCKING Friedman)

17:14 / 27.07.04

There was always something really horrible about Straxus, wasn't there? Most of the Decepticon big bads, even at their most cruel and brutal, were essentially soldiers. Some of them even had various degrees of nobility (most of all Scorponok in the end, of course). Straxus was just a really nasty bureaucrat. With a fucked-up grill.

17:31 / 27.07.04

yeah just a nasty politico who schemed his way into of the post-megatron power vacuum. the bit where megatron exorcised his ghost from his circuits (while poor centurion sprawled useless on the floor of shockwave's lab no less), literally tearing him in half with oil all across the page, was top. straxus he took xaaron, impactor and the rest to pieces for years though.

not sure what you mean by skorponok's nobility though 0- i thought he was pretty nasty. anything to do with him having some alien dude for a head?

Tamara Willett Hurt
(prev. Milton FUCKING Friedman)

17:42 / 27.07.04

It was all in the last arc - Prime surrenders to Scorponok as seen on page 1 of this very thread, because all the 'formers need to be united to fight Unicron and he realises it's never gonna be the 'Cons who make the first move. For a while it looks like Scorpy will betray Prime but in the end they end up almost friends. Scorpy even dies holding Prime's hand. Classic Furman melodrama:

"Prime... *fzk*... did I do... *bzzt*... good?"

"Yes, my friend. You did good."

17:52 / 27.07.04

There were really gay Transformers? Is this concept all slashfic or was there some hint of this in the comics? (I don't recall any such hints in the TV show or movie, except maybe for Starscream's queeny bitching)

17:53 / 27.07.04

And I just laughed very hard at the topic abstract:

>> Wouldn't it be good if we could keep this thread going through pre-development to the film's release [2006] and beyond?

Brilliant topic abstracts are hard to find - nice work.

18:04 / 27.07.04

okay and that's post movie, and post unicron's abortive rebuild on the planet of junk, right?

how do they finally get him? is it all matrix matrix matrix or does prime get the body he deserves and take to space for a final knock-down/drag-out affair?

18:07 / 27.07.04

'skorpy even dies holding prime's hand'

ouch. motherfucker had some nasty hands.

Keggers. Classic.

19:05 / 27.07.04

I hear Megatron will only transform into a walkie-talkie.

Our Lady Drinks Your Milkshake

19:57 / 27.07.04

This is going slightly off-topic, but I've seen a few episodes of this new Transformer's cartoon with 'Minicons' or some such bollocks, and the Decepticons are being lead by Scorponok but he's called Megatron! Is there actually a reason for this, or was it that the people doing the cartoons got their character specs mixed up?

20:35 / 27.07.04

Death's Head IS clearly the greatest invention of the comics.

Yes?

Superman
(prev. Iron Man)

21:27 / 27.07.04

And the best thing about him was how angry he'd get when people called him a bounty hunter - he preferred the term 'freelance peacekeeper'. The fact he had this Eubankian haughtiness about himself when he looked like something out of an 80's metal video killed me.

Tamara Willett Hurt
(prev. Milton FUCKING Friedman)

22:30 / 27.07.04

okay and that's post movie, and post unicron's abortive rebuild on the planet of junk, right?

how do they finally get him? is it all matrix matrix matrix or does prime get the body he deserves and take to space for a final knock-down/drag-out affair?

1) This is 'present day' continuity: Unicron arrives at Cybertron earlier than expected and so we now have to see the movie timeline as an orphan Jason baby universe like Here Comes dONNIE dARKO.

2) Prime + Matrix Matrix Matrix.

West Baltimore Hausing Project

10:26 / 28.07.04

anything to do with him having some alien dude for a head?

Basically, yes. Lord Zarak ws, although misguided, a basically noble man - his influence on Scorponok's personality made him ultimately able to resist the urge to betray and abandon Prime and the Autobots. Without his influence, the Decepticons feel back into bad habits.

As for "were there any gay transformers....". Dude, there are, like, three female transformers in THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF CYBERTRON. The fact that any transformers were *straight* (Springer, as far as we can tell) is pretty surprising.

West Baltimore Hausing Project

10:28 / 28.07.04

freelance peacekeeper

Freelance peacekeeping agent, yes?

Tamara Willett Hurt
(prev. Milton FUCKING Friedman)

10:44 / 28.07.04

Of course there were a few Transformers who were heterosexual but into members of other races: for example, Sludge had a thing for that TV reporter, which considering that he was a big metal brontosaur at the time is pretty wild...

11:03 / 28.07.04

I hate what Marvel U.K. did to Death's Head and his nice clean 80's A.B.C. Warriors/Transformers lines trying to update him- fucking Predator/Terminator wannabe, even Ghost Rider 2099 was cooler than him, with his chainsaw arm and unfocussed teen rage...
Heh, I remember the guys who did Beast Wars saying that at conventions now, suddenly everyone is being nice to them and complaining about Armada, it used to be a lynch mob anytime they showed up.

11:06 / 28.07.04

the non-transforming droids that they'd introduce as cannon fodder were all great: centurion, death's head (the one where he killed shockwave was brilliant, but don't get me started on dragon's claws or we'll be here all day) and guardian, the yellow thing who would go bad occasionally, and was about as hard as an automaton could be, but was always wasted kept in the ark slapping people's hands off the computer rather than taking to the battlefield and cleaning up the decepti-trash.

12:26 / 28.07.04

ps i don't know if i'm being wrong here but death's head's strange way of talking was always very clearly meant to be south african, yes? makes sense historically, and the yes?es and right?s run off the tongue a lot easier said with a south african accent.

West Baltimore Hausing Project

12:29 / 28.07.04

Ah, well, that issue was discussed in a story where prowl argued for the creation, using the matrix, of a cadre of robots designed for battle, which could then battle the Decepticons and leave the other Autobots to handle planning and tanning. In Prime's nightmare vision of a world where the Decepticons actually get beaten, these robots look a lot like Guardian.

Prime turned the plan down. Because he is an idiot.

12:34 / 28.07.04

oh yes i remember, and later prime had to walk into the decepticon base to rescue bumblebee. 'the matrix will not be perverted' and all that.

let's be honest, the matrix has always been a little bit perverted hasn't it?

Tamara Willett Hurt
(prev. Milton FUCKING Friedman)

13:40 / 28.07.04

The Matrix got perverted at the first chance it could, first of all latching onto the transparent Aliens rip-off creature and then onto Thunderwing. I always kinda liked Thunderwing.

Speaking of the non-'Former random robots, remember Deathbringer? He will ease your pain! WITH DEATH.

13:51 / 28.07.04

no i don't remember him but he sounds juuuuuuust right.

14:48 / 28.07.04

Rom, Spaceknight OWNZ JOO ALL.

Superman
(prev. Iron Man)

18:34 / 28.07.04

Geoff Senior's artwork still gets me hot.

Our Lady Drinks Your Milkshake

19:16 / 28.07.04

Didn't they fuck up Deaths Head with the second attempt at a Marvel UK universe of shit characters, I heard Deaths Head got hunted by a cyborg that destroyed him but somehow Deaths Head took over his body, in the process of which he lost his idiosynchratic way of speaking and immediately dropped a rough 48.7% on the interest level. Luckily no comic shop stocked these because they were British and therefore the plop.

Did anyone else ever read 'The Body in Question'? Where Simon Furman suddenly thinks up a completely different origin story for DH to what came before? Anyway, back to Transformers. I remember Arcee, a pink woman who seemed to have been created so that people didn't think that Hot Rod and Blurr hanging around together was in anyway gay (or Hot Rod and Kup, 'a grizzled old warrior showing the young Autobot a thing or two'), who turned into what looked like a car if you had to draw one based on descriptions and had NEVER SEEN A CAR BEFORE IN YOUR LIFE. Who were the other two female Autobots? Was one of them a Decepticon and, by any chance, did she look like a black robot covered in spikes and bondage gear?

20:29 / 28.07.04

there are, like, three female transformers in THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF CYBERTRON.

Flamingoes -I remember Arcee, a pink woman who seemed to have been created so that people didn't think that Hot Rod and Blurr hanging around together was in anyway gay (or Hot Rod and Kup, 'a grizzled old warrior showing the young Autobot a thing or two'), who turned into what looked like a car if you had to draw one based on descriptions and had NEVER SEEN A CAR BEFORE IN YOUR LIFE. Who were the other two female Autobots? Was one of them a Decepticon and, by any chance, did she look like a black robot covered in spikes and bondage gear?

I was going to ask the same question as I remember Arcee but never saw any other female Transformers.

And Flamingoes is either remembering MORRIGUN from the A.B.C. Warriors (and there's a live action film waitting to happen, hell the Hammerstein robot must still be kicking around somewhere after the Judge Dredd movie), or the pair of us have to have a chat because that sounds like a character I'd like to read about

21:39 / 28.07.04

Funny to think back to a time when "the matrix" meant something only related to Transformers...

Our Lady Drinks Your Milkshake

20:52 / 29.07.04

Wasn't that a great decision by the Autobot council? "Despite our inability to actually make any lasting damage to the Decepticons, we shall send a ship out into the universe to find new sources of fuel. We shall send our bravest, wisest and most sanctimonious Autobot, Optimus Prime, to lead this mission. It will be dangerous, perilous, and they might never return. Yes?"

"Might I suggest he doesn't take the Creation Matrix with him as we might need it while he's gone?"

"Oh sure, someone remember to ask him for it before he goes."

"5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1... Blast off!"

"Right, who's got the Matrix?"

"Don't look at me! I thought you were going to ask him!"

"... Shit."

Bots'wana Beast
(prev. Busts'wana Beast)

15:30 / 04.08.04

The stupidest thing Prime ever did was that bullshit after the Autobots won their computer game against the Deceps.

They bloody won, you tube!

"No, no, blow me up... It was terrible, couldn't accept a victory, blah, blah, blah..."

Was Budiansky, and he was pish, though. No wonder Megatron went mental afterwards.

Scorponok and, whatshisname, that Pretender Beast guy - Carnage? - were definitely the most honourable 'cons.

But what I really brought you here for was this - the greatest thing ever. You'll need a fairly fast computer, but trust me on this. Soundwave breakdances. Chik chak chokk chokk all over the place.

West Baltimore Hausing Project

15:45 / 04.08.04

I was going to ask the same question as I remember Arcee but never saw any other female Transformers.

The other two were Blackarchnia (from Beast Wars - she was a bit bondage queeny, to tell the truth) and Elita-B, Prime's old girlfriend (seen inf lashback in The Key to Vector Sigma), I think.

And yes, Optimus Prime agreeing to be blown up despite Megatron having cheated was incredibly stupid. Remember, kids, Ultra Magnus may have blown up three quarters of the ship, but Optimus Prime blew up his own personal self. Asswit.

16:56 / 04.08.04

Female Transformers. Urk. Arcee was alright, I suppose (her existence made a degree of sense in the comics) but the other were shitetastic.

Elita-1! She's red, yeah? And leads the fembots, yeah? So she's Prime girlfriend! They introduce these characters to, presumably, appeal to female transfans then define them solely by being girlfriends of existing characters! Girlfriends, for fuck sake!

Firestar- Inferno's girlfriend, Chromia- Ironhie's girfriend. And the other two Moonracer and Beta. Whatever. Shite characters, shite idea. Well, shite cartoon as well, let's be honest. (The UK comics were fan-fucking-tastic.)

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