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Godawful adverts

 
  

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Olulabelle
00:24 / 25.01.07
Yes, there is a bit about it up thread but it's certainly worth bringing up again. It's the beautician that makes me shout, the one who says, "Now she's lost the weight it takes half the time." Making all slightly overweight women everywhere panic about having their legs waxed in case the beauticians doing it are secretly thinking what fat gits they are.
 
 
Kirin? Who the heck?
01:52 / 25.01.07
Re. the Redenbacher ad, I find the look of worry/terror exhibited by the guy at the very start to be surprisingly appropriate.



Quite.
 
 
Our Lady Won't Do That Again
11:23 / 25.01.07
It's John Malkovitch!

But in good adverts-related news, Joel 'Rathergood' Veitch wins money from Coke because they are evil thieving rip-off bastards.
 
 
A Haus of Minions
11:53 / 25.01.07
JUSTICE!
 
 
velvetvandal
19:25 / 25.01.07
Did you know, David Bowie's son Zowie was responsible for those awful 'catfighting' French Connection ads? Read it in the paper today.
 
 
Our Lady Won't Do That Again
20:44 / 25.01.07
But not the original pop video he ripped them off from I think.
 
 
velvetvandal
22:53 / 26.01.07
Which video were they ripped off from? I seem to recall Tin Machine did a pretty naff video featuring women's boxing (referenced, sneeringly, in The Complete David Bowie - my copy of which is unfortunately not to hand). Is Zowie dedicated to ripping off only his dad's bad ideas?
 
 
Nuke Kids on the Bloc
05:10 / 27.01.07
He`s called Zowie Bowie, dude.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
15:52 / 27.01.07
Didn't he change his name to Duncan?
 
 
Evil Scientist
15:54 / 27.01.07
Zowie Duncan? Doesn't sound any better.
 
 
A Haus of Minions
16:02 / 27.01.07
Joe, I thought. Joe Duncan? And Girls on Film?
 
 
Ganesh
16:16 / 27.01.07
Tt. It should've been Zuncan Duncan. That would've been better.
 
 
Nuke Kids on the Bloc
23:31 / 27.01.07
His dad really likes donuts.
 
 
Ganesh
23:51 / 27.01.07
'Zonuts'? That wouldn't have worked.
 
 
Nuke Kids on the Bloc
00:50 / 28.01.07


Not with laced with a caffine roofie yet (as far as I know).
 
 
velvetvandal
23:36 / 28.01.07
Those Pizza Hut ads where Brian Cox audibly soils himself at the prospect of some greasy pizza with cheese-heads on it. For god's sake, what has he frittered all the money from Troy and X-Men 2 on that he has to fucking reduce himself to this?

And the worst bit is he calls eating the pizza a 'party'. I've been to pizza hut on occassion, and at no point has it ever even came close to resembling a party.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
13:35 / 29.01.07
Cheese heads?!?

I LOVE cheese, and even I find the phrase slightly repellent.
 
 
Grandma loves children
(prev. Old dear. Gin. Problems)
01:02 / 08.02.07
That dreadful and unnerving Lloyds TSB puppet-couple-on-a-train-journey-through-life ad.

Annoying "avant-garde" squeaky music - check!

Weird and sinister meant-to-be-cute puppets - check!

Sentimental and lazy portrayal of the 2.4 children family's life journey - check!

Stick a fork in my eyes, I'm done.
 
 
Benny the Ball
10:52 / 08.02.07
Those Pizza Hut ads where Brian Cox audibly soils himself at the prospect of some greasy pizza with cheese-heads on it. For god's sake, what has he frittered all the money from Troy and X-Men 2 on that he has to fucking reduce himself to this?

Thank you! You have no idea how many arguments have happened in the The Ball household over whether or not Mr Cox's voice is getting all excited over unlimited ice cream and farm house pizza slices!
 
 
That Is All
(prev. Bizunth Again)
09:41 / 23.02.07
Mastication for the nation!

DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
 
 
Tabitha Tickletooth
11:45 / 23.02.07
Oh Rampant Botany, you express what I feel so well. I had only ever seen that abomination on TV, when it was muted and so horrible but tolerable. Then at the cinema, no less, I was subjected to the full horror. I have no idea what the hell it is supposed to be achieving. Are viewers supposed to be amused? Offended by the stereotype OTT black 'comic' (is that what he is even supposed to be?)? I hate it and it makes my eyes and ears bleed.
 
 
A Haus of Minions
11:56 / 23.02.07
He's meant to be a performance poet. What he is, unfortunately, is a TRAITOR TO HUMANITY. I fear that JWT have gone over to the other side.
 
 
Our Lady Won't Do That Again
12:51 / 23.02.07
Even the bloke who runs the pub in 'Life on Mars' and who has been shown to be putting on a fake Jamaican accent when the police are around is less annoying than this fella.
 
 
Sibelian 2.0
22:23 / 10.03.07
Mastication for the nation!

/ shakes head /

What were they thinking ?

And there's more of them to come! Definitely a punish-by-no-purchase-campaign candidate. In fact, some enterprising sort should set up some web thing or other to that precise end, listing and encouraging punishment of ALL such dross. I say.
 
 
Psych Safeling
22:42 / 10.03.07
Wrong thread because I think it's a great ad, but I'm going out of my mind trying to work out who is singing 'The Great Pretender' in the new VW Golf ad ("The Power of Understatement"). It is so close to the tip of my tongue - I just need a tiny modicum of Lizard Power and it will be mine. Or a helpful Barbeloid, whichever comes first.
 
 
Blake Head
23:09 / 10.03.07
Apparently the complaints regarding the Mastication for the Nation campaign have been registered in their hundreds. Checking the website, several other ads are up featuring a variety of actors from different ethnic backgrounds, exhibiting the same highly exaggerated Jamaican accents, which was just bizarre really. What I don't understand is the link between these isolated accents, something vague about revolution, and selling chewing gum. Am I missing something really obvious or are they just hopelessly random and clueless?
 
 
velvetvandal
09:54 / 12.03.07
The only explanation is they've been written by a 12-year old with a mild form of conduct disorder.

'Nah, see, it's really cool like because they speak with djah-may-kan ak-sents, 'mon', aiiy? Because, like, coz they speak djah-may-kan it means they all smoke gan-ja like geet Bob Marley an' that, man! Wikkid! I smoke ganj all the time, me, I'm a geet rebel an that.'

'You don't actually, do you?'

'Er...nah.'

'In fact, you've never had a drug stronger than an aspirin, have you?'

'Er...nah.'

'And you don't know any black people, either.'

'Er...nah.'

'Just look over there for a minute.' *STAB STAB STAB*
 
 
Whisky Priestess
21:52 / 12.03.07
Do they perhaps think that (Lilt ladies stylee) using "relaxed", "groovy" Jamaican accents will make their product somehow "cool"? Perhaps to make it even more "funny", the lady in the WI version of the ad could have been in blackface, a la the B&W Minstrels circa 1955?

*headhands*

Surely at JWT it's time for some heads to RRRROOOLLL!

"Decapitation for de nation, aii!"
 
 
Elijah, Freelance Rabbi
21:55 / 12.03.07
The fucking cavemen in the car insurance ads here in the US make me want to kill.

Latest rumor is that the fuckers have been given their own sitcom.

GAHHHHHH
 
 
velvetvandal
10:47 / 13.03.07
"Decapitation for de nation, aii!"

Now there's a slogan we can all get behind.
 
 
miss wonderstarr
11:03 / 13.03.07
I thought you all must be exaggerating that "Mastication" advert so I went to the website. I can hardly believe it exists ~ it's like some horror from the 1970s.
 
 
Ex
13:57 / 14.03.07
Girls Just Want to Have Funds

I'd hope any woman who had enough money to be considering her investment portfolio is not going to be swung by a Cyndi Lauper lyric, and being called a 'girl'.

But as my mother always said, if you don't turn round when they hail you, they can't interpellate you, and eventually they'll get bored and stop.
 
 
Sniv
14:04 / 14.03.07
Re: the Great Prentender Golf ad - surely this is saying that if you drive a Golf you become a faker with no real life or friends or loves or anything else, and you become all broken and hollow inside.

Sounds like the car for me!!!1!
 
 
Twice
14:49 / 14.03.07
How so, John? I don't see it that way.
The version in the golf seems quite nice. IMH.
 
 
Hulk
16:44 / 14.03.07
Just adding another layer on the sheer inappropriateness of the 'Mastication for the nation' commercial that seems to have gone un-mentioned- the product is called Trident- for those not familiar: Operation Trident, now referred to as just Trident, is a Metropolitan Police Service initiative set up to deal with gun crime in London's black community...
 
  

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