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Haus: We might want to quietly abandon the accents question, since from ambiguity through brummies to the Spenser Davies Group, PW seems to be having trouble explaining what on Earth he was aiming for, and we may just have to live with that.
Therefore, for the record; another loooong post:
I've been thinking, again, a lot. Sorry. And I realise that I should try, just once more, to explain my perspective, my intent, my context, and therefore my meanings of late. And honestly, if you haven't already got me on ignore, I genuinely hope this doesn't make you click that particular button. (Personally, I still endeavour to keep up my own "no-one on ignore" policy, but I know how hard this can prove to be...)
Like I said, one of my main intentions for my earlier (seemingly controversial) post in the 'Bullying' thread, which has since been discussed in this 'Racism?' thread, was to use ambiguity against ambiguity to highlight a lot of general absurdity coming from members from all sides (but granted I'm not particularly talented, so... My sincerest apologies for my clumsy execution, methodology, and style).
It has also looooong been my primary goal to get different people on opposing sides of this ongoing multi-thread argument to apologise to each other properly for their respective parts in this ongoing saga; so that hopefully Barbelith can breath a sigh of relief, learn whatever lessons we each need to learn, and maybe play nice again without any nasty repeats. Without these apologies I fear this whole situation will only just keep popping up like a tricksy turd in a toilet. I have said as much since the beginning of this debacle.
Of course, recently, at times I have lost my patience and been more forceful, rude, clever, and (once, I believe) harsher/ nastier than I should / could have been. But I assure you, I have consistently been pretty honest and well intended, openly declaring my emotions and intentions clearly on the board as soon as I've realised them and / or seen that they have got in the way or that an explanation is needed.
I have also consistently apologised for any slips in decorum, both to those who suffered from them, and to those who have indicated that they think I've been adding negativity or encouraging confusion (even if this is something which "they" might had misread from any of my posts, and may not ultimately be my fault).
However, it has been a while since I directed a personal scathing attack on a poster's character. And I think each time I've ever done this, I have always apologised to these people, properly. True / false?
Thus, for my own reputation and sanity, and to try to be even more transparent; to re-calibrate and hopefuly explain my position further:
As far as I could and can still see, ALL this mess started with bad relationships between DM and Flyboy, and DM and Haus, which then (eventually) moved onto some relatively playful goading towards two specific members (that should probably never have happened), and then kicked off big-time with some blatant specific "in your face" attacks of someone's character from two members (based on little but a growing sense of dislike) against one particular member. Then, other people responded with a certain amount of outrage (me included) and asked for different actions to be taken.
What happened afterwards (IMO) was that a very broad and increasing rhizome-like branching discussion about the original events, all the posters involved, the actions taken and those which have yet to be taken, took off across the fora.
But at some point during ALL this, everything went [insert my latest annoying personal key word] Mega-Meta, and Time and Perspective began to spiral both out of and into relativity -- as I also tried to indicate and address in my earlier, exceedingly long post in the Bullying thread.
This rather ambiguous Meta-force then grew and grew and has taken hold of a lot of threads, posts, and posters like a Mega Black Meta-hole; on both sides of which, there is much that has been learned and much still to wait for. I think I first saw this happening about three or five days ago now, and I think others did too; although I can't be sure who did and to what extent.
It's also interesting, for example, to put some parts of this mutli-thread discussion through your browser's "speak text"-type function, and then sit back and listen to different member's posts. I've done it myself. The technology is a bit clunky, and words can jump and slur with these electronic voice-thingymies; but rather like people with tonal aphasia, when using this technology one can only hear a flat unemotional voice, and therefore one only has the text itself to use for clues as to everyone's emotions, intentions, and meanings. Try it, please; it's actually fun and interesting; in a psycholinguistics type of way, anyway...
Haus, I don't want to fight with you or anyone else, really (e.g. I'm still waiting for that love letter...).
I very much think that I've already apologised properly and adequately for my own primary attack at Flyboy and Triplets; in the 'Bullying' thread, three and a half days ago. (By the way, Triplets and Flyboy, what do you think of this apology of mine? Was / is my apology to your satisfaction? Can you forgive me? Should you forgive me? Feel free to send a [polite] PM, if you like. i.e. threadrot risk.
In respect of wider policy issues, I think I've also consistently argued against third party deletion, for more openness and honesty in everything (including moderation), and have tried to keep us all on a single, focused track regarding this topical members' politics issue.
Quantum has already asked in the 'Bullying' thread about why and how you (Haus) felt attacked by DM. So I'm staying well clear of that discussion. However, Haus, if you number me among your attackers as well, which i don't think you actually do (I don't know though), then please let me know where, why, when and how, (maybe in a PM) and we can try and sort it out, if you like. i.e. threadrot risk.
Similarly, if anyone else has actually been personally offended by anything else I've said these past days, let me know where, why, when, and how, and I will consider your concerns respectfully; and if I feel you have been offended, I will apologise forthwith. Feel free to also do this by PM, should you prefer. i.e. threadrot risk.
But, henceforth: I am now going to try REALLY HARD to stay out of others' personal disputes on this board in future (a lesson for us all, perhaps?), and I will hopefully try to remain focused on subjects that are more specific and easier to resolve from now on.
Touch wood.
I am also very sorry, Barbelith, for my part in this horrible, horrible stink. I hope this post is well timed, well placed (i.e. in which thread should this go?), and well received. At the very least, I believe it is certainly well intended.
One love.
(Oh, and apologies to any scientists out there for my crap use and distortion of astrophysics and other sciences, above. Hopefully you will get what I meant though [?] ) |
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