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LOOK. I know you're an alcoholic, so I would normally cut you some slack. I also know, however, that whether the two are related or not, you can be a right obnoxious prick a lot of the time. I'm getting sick of having to tell you several times a day that my dog's on heat and I don't want your dog shagging her, cute though the puppies would undoubtedly be. But I can cope with that.
However, if you once more have a go at me for separating them, and maintain that it's beautiful because they're in love, or if I once more have to walk for ten minutes dragging your poor lust-crazed dog with me only to find that you're so fucked you didn't even notice he was missing, I am going to jam your bollocks so far down your throat you'll be able to make balloon animals with your scrotum just by farting.
You will notice I have not once shouted at your dog about any of this. It's only you I have a problem with.
(Also NOT going utterly mental on a friend of mine and practically reducing her to tears would have helped, but it's a bit fucking late for that now). |
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