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Urgh! Fuck!: A thread for untamed hate and anger [PICS]

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Stoat-ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH

05:23 / 20.04.06

Ah, I see what you mean- they're tickets you'd have to collect on the door. Nah, buy one outside if you're planning on spending the extra cash anyway.

06:42 / 20.04.06

Thanks everybody. Rage... subsiding.
I'll get in somehow.

18:33 / 27.04.06

I'm like the Bizarro Midas. Everything I touch turns into UTTER FUCKING SHIT!

GET IT FUCKING TOGETHER, MONK, YOU STUPID WANKER!

cube needs to get out more

18:47 / 27.04.06

Shhhh. Calm now. Have some lemon curd on toast and a cup of tea. Solves many things, and even if it doesn't it'll make you feel nice.

01:09 / 28.04.06

yeah, monk shits me too. it's like columbo, but less charming.

01:15 / 28.04.06

oops. that was an honest mistake, sorry monk. I understand your midas touch. many times i have stomped around the house, yelling 'why does everything i touch turn to shit' very loudly. Bellowing, even.

on a positive note though, i passed a car which had a sticker on the window saying 'motorcycle aware driver' which made me feel much better.

01:30 / 28.04.06

Stabbystabby, how in the name of all things Godlike was that an honest mistake?

Person A says, "Monk, you idiot".
Person B says, "Monk, you idiot".
Stabbystabby says, "Monk, you idiot" because everyone else has, but then realises that Monk said it hirself in the first place and has to backtrack in order not to look fairly mean and horrid.

Mordant Carnival
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01:38 / 28.04.06

Is 'Monk' also the name of a telly detective? That could be an honest mistake.

01:44 / 28.04.06

Is it really! Well then the Columbo reference would make sense.

Mordant Carnival
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01:48 / 28.04.06

I think it's only on American telly. It's a detective with obsessive compulsive disorder and fear of milk or something.

Mordant Carnival
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01:51 / 28.04.06

on a positive note though, i passed a car which had a sticker on the window saying 'motorcycle aware driver' which made me feel much better.

Until you saw the crudely-drawn tally of X-d out motorbikes beneath it...

01:53 / 28.04.06

kool keith is suposed to eb a rapper.

he's not.

also, oululabird is inventing a person b.
this should be mentioned by someone less sober, however, so feel free to await said missive.

01:55 / 28.04.06

less?
less?

surely more?

ah well.

Mordant Carnival
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01:56 / 28.04.06

I think maybe 'misreading what Cube said in the next post down' is a bit fairer, Tox. But then I thik we may all be a bit drunk at this point?

02:11 / 28.04.06

hwo dare yuo!
i am sa soenr asa JDUDGE!!!!!111!

02:24 / 28.04.06

yes, monk the tv detective. available thanks to the glory of cable tv in australia.

oh, another thing: CSI.

extra marks to NCIS for having a 19year old goth working as a pathologist for the navy. yuh huh.

All Acting Regiment

02:48 / 28.04.06

I'm furious that I nevert seem to feel like crap at the end of an exam, and thus seem to be unhelpful to the mates who do. What needs to happen is for everyone to feel better, because it's very hard to do bad.

14:47 / 28.04.06

ce n'est pas moine

15:16 / 28.04.06

Monk is on BBC1 probably right about now (although Jessica Fletcher has been on recently) - there's nothing wrong with Monk - Monk rules.

15:47 / 28.04.06

I feel silly now.

Sorry stabbystabby.

01:38 / 29.04.06

Is that monk chap not one of the crew from Galaxy Quest? The engineer who fell in love with the Thermian female?

I'm sure they show this MONK show over here at some weird time but I don't think anybody watches. I can say this with confidence because of my spyware, currently at work in every living room in the country. And in Sax's shower.

01:42 / 29.04.06

In every living room apart from Bear's obviously. But that's only because I'm hiding behind his settee as I type.

cube needs to get out more

01:54 / 29.04.06

Yep, Monk was in Galaxy Quest and

A light snack before bed

lemon curd is now in my tummy.
Night, all. No anger, but I now have crust jammed in my gums which makes me mildly peeved.

19:44 / 29.04.06

This is really petty and very possibly not worth getting wound up about at all, but...

Toys 'r' Us.

You know, I sympathise with you, I really do. I know you're getting a shit wage for a shit job. I know that the company employing you don't see you as anything more than tiny little cogs in their big machine. I appreciate that it's got to be an utterly soul-destroying experience working in that sort of environment - dude, it wasn't that long ago that I was in almost exactly the same position and the banality of it drove me up the fucking wall. I'm fully aware that the company purposefully understaff their stores throughout the majority of the year and only ever put enough people in place when it comes to the last three weeks before Christmas. And I can see that the physical surroundings that you have to be in for eight hours of the day are almost exactly the opposite of what's healthy for yr mind and body.

But, fuck it all, there's not really any excuse for making somebody wait at the collection point for fifteen minutes without even acknowledging their existence, ignoring them pressing the buzzer and the tannoy calls of the increasingly embarrassed/frustrated girl on the checkout, then - when you finally do appear - not making any kind of apology, nor even bothering to say a single word to them, and instead just grabbing the receipt off the counter, dragging out the process of finding the stuff right in front of their eyes for another ridiculously protracted period of time, then basically throwing it down on the counter again and walking off, still without having said a word to them.

The best of it is, of course, that you're precisely the sort of prick who'll end up getting promoted through the ranks and becoming - at the very least - a store manager, guaranteeing that the cycle continues, that every other person who gets a low-tier job for the company ends up feeling miserable and squashed by the machine. Well done you.

All Acting Regiment

20:07 / 29.04.06

I trust your Emperor Dalek/Zoidzilla/1/35th scale Valley Forge was worth it, Randy?

All Acting Regiment

22:50 / 30.04.06

I've just been shouted at by a security camera! I'd gone out for a bit of a walk around the canals near the bridgewater hall, empty at this time of night. I looked at the fountain, looked at the geese, then set off along the bridges and footpaths.

I saw the camera up ahead, mentally slagged it off and didn't think much more of it- until it suddenly whirred into life as I passed it, following me around. Then it started talking, in a hissing metallic voice:

BzzCht. Wharare you doing here?

I was a little taken aback.

"You what mate?"

Bzzcht. (grumble muffle) We don't advise the public to come here.

"Why not?"

BzzBcht. (muffle)cheeky prat- Get lost!

At which I said something I'm very proud of.

"Fuck off, Davros."

It didn't say anything more. What a prat, though.

Mist van der Rohe
(prev. Cletus Van Mist)

23:02 / 30.04.06

It´s a bit late for V for Vendetta marketing gags!

There was something similar on the news today:

Arson squad blows up newspaper rack

Items compiled from Tribune news services
Published April 30, 2006

LOS ANGELES -- A newspaper promotion for the upcoming movie "Mission: Impossible III" misfired Friday when a Los Angeles County sheriff's arson squad blew up a news rack, thinking it contained a bomb.

Instead, a Los Angeles Times coin machine in Santa Clarita held a digital musical device designed to play the "Mission: Impossible" theme song when the rack's door was opened.

The incident was the most spectacular of several bomb reports made by newspaper buyers startled to see a red plastic box with wires protruding from it attached to the interior of racks.

02:11 / 01.05.06

Urgh, fuck and gah: Dan Simmons.

Urgh, fuck and gah: my grandparents: "it's the Indians' fault they have no money, no future, no ambitions."

Jake, Colossus of Clout

03:54 / 01.05.06

If the Red Sox can't win a series against the Devil Rays, how the fuck do they expect to beat the Yankees tomorrow?

I swear, if Johnny fucking Damon gets a win on his return to Fenway, I will throw my television out the window and become a Mets fan.

Disco is My Class War

15:08 / 03.05.06

Why do people take themselves SO FUCKEN SERIOUSLY? Where is their PERSPECTIVE? Why can't they CHILL THE FUCK OUT or at least be clear on WHY THE HELL THEY'RE SO ANGRY so the rest can UNDERSTAND? Why doesn't any collective ever have the ability to just WORK IT OUT CALMLY? Why do people have to go and LEAVE in a HUFF? Why can't they HAND OVER THEIR RESPONSIBILITIES TO SOMEONE ELSE BEFORE LEAVING at the VERY FUCKING LEAST? Why do these terrible people have to be MY DEAREST FRIENDS who I LOVE VERY MUCH and DON'T WANT TO SEE PISSED OFF/HURT?

And WHY OH WHY GOD DID I GET INVOLVED IN A COLLECTIVE AGAIN, I SWORE IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN....

Phew. Better. So much better.

cube needs to get out more

18:23 / 03.05.06

Yeah, a raise of 2.5k less than you agreed to last year. Thanks. Big fucking happy hat on, here.

All Acting Regiment

18:29 / 03.05.06

WE SHOULD BE ON TO THE NEXT PAGE NOW, for FUCK'S FUCKING SAKE. BUT NOOOOOOO, all this BILE still won't fill the OFFENSIVLY LARGE SPACE

05:30 / 09.05.06

*stumbles into barbelith, just to say*

God, I know it's only football, but that Sven bloke really pisses me off. Yesterday morning I was thinking there's NO WAY he'll be able to produce one of his spurious 'footballing reasons' as to why he shouldn't pick Jermain Defoe this time, what with his favouritist strikers all being injured at the mo.

But no! Hell, I'll be interested to hear the full Svennish reasoning behind this one. Because, obviously, form doesn't matter if he's picking Crouch, and injuries don't matter if he's picking Owen and Rooney, and now, apparently, sheer talent doesn't matter either, not if it's the sort of talent that might conceivably push a half-fit Michael Owen out of the starting line-up. Erikkson doesn't like subs that threaten his first teamers, so Walcott's perfect: he can go to the tournament and be safely sat on the bench the whole time to 'gain experience,' just like wot Joe Cole has had to do for howevermany years, and Defoe has to stay quiet and watch as some child - who isn't even playing football at the moment - is now being picked ahead of him.

Gahhh.

And I don't like feeling remotely sorry for bazllionaire footballers, but this seems so horrid. So mean. Defoe's got the sort of talent that *should* get the chance to glitter and sparkle in a World Cup. Fucking Sven's got the rest of his life to count his money, but Defoe's only going to be this young, this fast, this ace, once, NOW.

Yes, I’m a bit grumpy-drunk. No, it doesn't really matter. But still. S'not bloody fair.

Finished now.

paranoidwriter waves hello

02:56 / 11.05.06

I've been looking for work for ages and this week I've stepped up my efforts, sending off more CV's than ever before and trawling the web for hours and hours and...

Anyway, today I thought I'd try a different approach, reprising and editing an old cover letter which I'd originally intended for submission to publishers, but have only had the guts to send out a few times: an anecdote describing an instance when an old boss (a literary agent) gave me advice on how to write a good letter. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Sounds like a bad idea", and you're probably right. But, thanks to my defunct brain and fucking Hotmail, I doubt I'll find out either way. For after sending out copies to five job vacancies, I suddenly realised I should send my paranoidwriter Mail account a draft, and have just discovered that Hotmail doesn't agree with my editorial decisions, deciding instead to delete all the speech marks and add a few line-breaks in the middle of sentences! Grr...

Excuse me while I punch myself in the face...

Mordant Carnival
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12:54 / 11.05.06

First aid 101: If confronted by a person suffering a grand mal seizure, your first priority is not to "make sure they're not faking." Still, since you bring it up, why not bang on at some length about the methods you'd use to ensure that the epileptic is not faking? Ah, I see--essentially your methods all boil down to violent assualt. Kick them, poke them in the eyes, pick them up and throw them in a swimming pool, that sort of thing.

You know what? If you've ever said anything like that once you were over the age of 14, fuck you. Seriously. Fuck ya. I hope--really, sincerely, without any reservations at all--that you develop epilepsy, preferably as the result of a horrific road traffic accident that leaves you physically and emotionally scarred for the rest of your fucking life. I further hope that one day you know what it is to come round from a fit and find someone kicking you in the arse, you pig-headed, ignorant, no-empathy-having shit.

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